Mass Effect 2 Garrus' world
by HotMezoti
Summary: Part 2 of Garrus and Jane Shepard on the SR2. I should probably re-title it Garrus and Jane's world, but I don't want to change it now. Lemony content. Things get much more complicated when they reunite. All characters owned by Bioware. Story in progress.
1. Chapter 1

Shepard sat at the bar in Omega and nursed her Turian ale. She was hunched over, the side of her cheek resting on her hand. She stared ahead at the metal wall, tuning out the pulsating music and dancers around her. The bright red and blue lights were in stark contrast to her pale face. She swirled her drink around again and lost herself in memories of the SR1.

She smiled, remembering the time she brought Turian ale for Garrus and he drank it in her quarters. She took a large gulp. He'd get a kick out of her being able to share that with him now. Since her Cerberus re-build, she had no dextro allergies. Her lips twisted into a frown. Figures, now that he was missing, and probably dead. She sighed, looking down at the bar counter and absentmindedly wiping off the wet rings her drink made.

Determined to find him, she'd researched, asked everyone she could – the Illusive man, even Miranda. "Find him." She'd demanded, and Miranda to her credit had tried. She actually felt sorry for her when she finally had to tell her, "I'm sorry, Commander. I've been able to track all your other crew members to a certain extent, but there's no trace of Garrus after he left the Spectre program almost 2 years ago."

What's the use of being brought back from the dead when the one person most important to you is gone? She looked up at the bartender and gestured for a refill. _I wonder if he felt that way, if he missed me as much as I'm missing him._

She was back in action, back on the Normandy. A new ship, a new crew, a new life. She put herself into the mission with full commitment, but a part of her was not there, a part died with her when she pummeled down from the burning SR1, gasping for air. She shook her head, that memory kept creeping in, and she took another drink to help push it out. She turned around on her barstool, drink in hand, watching the dancers on the floor. They were out on shore leave until the next morning. She wanted to recruit the Salarian professor, but it was late, and they decided to wait until the morning before making their way to his lab.

She watched the scene and sipped at her drink. Suddenly she was jostled by an Asari, "Oh, sorry," she giggled and walked away. Shepard shook her head and wiped her spilled drink off her pants. As she started to turn back around towards the bar, she noticed a Turian staring at her. For a split second she thought – no, no. It was someone else. She glared at him.

"Is there a problem?"

He leaned on the bar counter, "No, I just never saw a human drink Turian ale before, fascinating."

"Oh," she looked down at her glass, "well, yeah."

He got up from his stool and walked towards her, "I'll order you another, Bartender?" he got her attention. Before Shepard could refuse, he had ordered two of what she had. He gestured to the empty seat next to her, "Do you mind?"

She looked up at him, ready to say no, but heard herself say, "Sure, go ahead." And he sat down.

He offered her a hand, "I'm Talek. I'm with the Palaven forces, here on leave. You look like a soldier too."

She gave a little snort, "I was, I'm sort of, with a private force now, you could say."

He nodded, she looked like a merc. The bartender gave them their drinks.

She took his hand and shook it, "I'm Jane, nice to meet you, and thanks for the drink, you didn't have to."

He held up his drink to hers, "Here's to Turian ale." She was surprised and held up her glass to clink to his and they both took a drink.

"You uh, seem to know a lot about human customs."

He nodded, "Yea, I've been around a lot of them. So, are you here on a job?"

She eyed him critically, was he trying to get intel about her mission? "You could say that. I'm on leave until tomorrow morning, though."

"Nice. Um, would you like to dance?"

She shook her head vigorously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't be so forward."

"No, that's not it, I'm a horrible dancer, like the worst."

He laughed, "Well, I'm not too much better."

They were quiet, looking out on the dance floor. "So, how is it that you are able to drink Turian ale and not be violently ill?"

"Ah, that's a long story. The short story is I was sick for quite a while. I have medical implants, extensive surgery, and one of the side effects is no dextro allergies."

"Huh. You can eat the food too?"

"Yup. It's good, actually." She smiled at him.

He grinned, "You're really pretty when you smile."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Spirits, I said that out loud, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," his mandibles fluttered. He stood up, "Look, I'd better go, I'm making a fool of myself."

"No, wait," she grabbed his arm. She could sense his sincerity. He was, kind of cute, actually, and she was weary of being alone. "Stay."

He looked pleasantly surprised and sat back down next to her. She nodded her drink in his direction and took a sip. She studied him. He has silvery skin, looked sort of around her age, it was hard to tell with Turians. He had warm brown eyes. She sized him up and down, he was in good shape.

He caught her gaze, "Are you – checking me out?"

She laughed, it was funny to hear that expression from a Turian, "Maybe. Should I not?"

"I'm not complaining." He leaned his arm on the bar, turning to face her.

They talked for a while, had a few more drinks, a few snacks from the bar. He told her about his unit, they were shipping back out in a few days, stopping in Omega to restock supplies. She asked him about Palaven, where he grew up. She listened, fascinated. She wished she'd asked Garrus more about his history when she'd had the chance.

"So, what about you? What's your story?" he asked.

She scrunched up her face and looked down, "Well, I'm an orphan from Earth, I was in the Alliance, but not anymore. Not much else to say, really."

"Okay, I get it." _She must be a merc,_ he thought.

He changed the subject, "You look like you can handle yourself pretty well in a fight. We don't get too many non-military issue weapons, what do you use?"

She lit up as she talked to him about her favorite pistol, assault rifle and mods.

"Maybe I can talk my Captain into adding some of those mods on our regular issue weaponry."

"It would be worth it, for sure." She said.

He took a deep breath, "It's getting late, you ah, need to get back to your ship, or has your captain reserved quarters on Omega?"

She shook her head, "No and no." she smiled up at him and tilted her head to the side, "Do you have any suggestions?"

"I have a lot of suggestions. Depends on you." He looked at her intently.

She stood up and put her hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. He leaned down, his mouth close by her ear, "If you'd like, there's a place next door that rents rooms, it's looks really nice." He leaned back and looked at her, holding his breath lightly.

She looked up at him, still holding onto his arm. She thought it over. It's something she would have never done before, but since she'd been brought back by Cerberus, her old life, her old self seemed so far away. She was getting used to that. She was starting to want to be someone else. "That's a great idea." She said softly. He gestured to the bartender to finish their tab, and they walked out of the bar, his arm around her shoulder. They made their way down the street and as they approached the hotel she stopped.

She turned to face him and said quietly, "I need to tell you that I've never actually been with a Turian before, I'm very interested, obviously, I, damn, this is embarrassing." She absentmindedly rubbed her shoulder.

He watched her face turn red, charmed by this shy side the tough merc was suddenly showing him, "You've been with humans before right? I mean, you're not a virgin or anything?"

Her head snapped up, "No, not a virgin at all, not with humans."

He took her hand in his and kissed it, "Don't worry. I've had human girlfriends before, I can show you, help you out. If you've changed your mind, I'll be disappointed, but it's okay. I'll rent you a room and go back to my unit."

"No, I want to, definitely. I just wanted you to be prepared because I won't know what I'm doing."

"I think you'll find our species are really pretty similar in that regard and the differences just make things interesting."

She gave him a sideways smile as they entered the hotel and he rented a room. In the bright light of the lobby, she was able to get a better look at him. She felt a little excitement run through her, she realized she really wanted him. He walked over to where she was waiting by the elevator. He grabbed her hand and they entered the elevator and made their way up to the room. He opened the door and let her in. She walked in and looked around. It was a nice room, just like the lobby. Surprising for Omega.

"Wow." She walked around.

"Yea, it is nice." He watched her.

She looked around the corner at the bathroom, "I'll be right back, okay?"

He nodded.

She used the toilet and looked at her reflection, freshening up in the sink. She splashed some water on her face and drank a little of it. She took a deep breath and walked out. He was standing by the window, looking out at the night sky of Omega. She stood next to him and put her arm around his waist. He hugged her. She turned to look at him, hesitant. Their anatomy suddenly seemed very different.

He reached up and held her face in his hands, leaning down and kissing her. His leathery skin felt different, his lips were slight, but it was a kiss, and she eagerly returned it. "See?" he said, "Not too bad."

She smiled, "No, not at all." She started to relax.

He put his hand around her waist, "Mm, feels good." He purred. He ran his other hand up to her bun, "Let this out."

She reached up and took the clips out of her hair, letting it fall down her back. She reached up and ran her fingers lightly over his face, standing on her toes to give him a kiss. He teased her lips with his tongue and she let him explore. His taste was exotic, intoxicating. She felt his tongue playing against hers, not as rough as she thought it would be. She started moving hers into his mouth. He pulled back, "Careful, my teeth are sharp." She nodded and they resumed their kiss, Shepard tentatively exploring his mouth. He held on to her back harder, pulling her against him.

She pulled away and started taking off her clothes as she walked towards the bed, Talek following her and doing the same. She finished getting everything off and kicked off her underpants. She turned to him as he was putting his pants on a chair. He looked up and took her in, drawing in a sharp breath.

"Spirits, you're beautiful." Her long, dark curls cascaded down her back, her smooth white skin fairly glowed in the lights from the window. He walked up to her and ran his hand lightly down her arms. He trailed along the faint orange lines on her body, "What are these? I've never seen that before."

"That's from the medical implants I told you about. They're okay."

He nodded and pulled her in close. She reveled in his warmth, the roughness of his skin against hers. "Tell me what to do," she said.

He took her hands up to his shoulders, "If you knead your fingers in the grooves, ooh, yeah, like that."

She experimented with digging her blunt nails into his carapace. The harder she worked in, the more he responded. He definitely knew what he was doing as well, he raked his blunt talons down her back and cupped her round ass, squeezing lightly, "Damn you are sexy," he said.

She gasped softly and let go, turning to crawl into bed. The sight of her on all fours nearly sent him over the edge, but a look at her back, her pristine skin, he forced himself calm. He didn't want to scare her off by marking her up. He crawled in after her and lay on his back, "You get on top." He told her.

She ran her hands down the grooves his chest, his abdomen, tentatively feeling around his crotch area.

Anticipating her question, he said, "It's covered by plates, they move apart when I get excited."

She nodded, relieved. There wasn't anything down there, she was starting to wonder. She got on top of him and straddled him, rubbing her crotch on him. He stopped her – "I've got to get protection, there's probably something in the drawer," he started to reach over.

"No, we don't need it. I don't have those allergies, remember?"

He looked concerned, "Are you sure? I mean, you know for certain?"

"Yes, Mir- um, the ship doctor told me."

He reached back to her hips with a new excitement, he'd never felt a female human without a condom on before. He held onto her legs and groaned, trying not to dig his talons in her thighs. She gasped, feeling his plates shift and pressure against her. She positioned herself so that the head of his penis was at her opening.

"You are so wet," he groaned.

She started slowly rocking back and forth, propping herself up with her hands on his chest, "Yes, yes." She looked down at Talek, _This is really happening,_ her mind whirled.

He started to enter her slowly, and she felt his grip on her hips tighten, locking her in place. He got deeper and deeper inside her, and she was surprised at the sensation, "Do you have bumps on it or something?"

"Ridges, we have ridges." He sputtered out, attempting to keep control.

"Holy hell," she whispered, feeling him continue to move inside her.

"Oh, you feel amazing," he said.

She could barely speak, waves of pleasure were washing over her as they rocked back and forth together. She wasn't sure how things would be after her Cerberus re-build, but she was able to accommodate his large penis, and everything felt wonderful. Better than wonderful, fucking unbelievable.

She could feel she was close, "Don't stop," she said in a harsh whisper, and a few more movements back and forth and she felt a white hot heat wash over her as her climax started, "Oh, I'm cumming!" she said, hoping he would know what that meant.

He definitely knew what that meant, and he finally let loose and as he felt her walls clamping down on him, he pushed up into her, feeling his own release coming from the base and spasming out inside her. "Oh, oh," she grabbed onto his carapace, digging her hands into him as she continued to climax. He kept moving, amazed at her endurance, at how long she was climaxing. No other human female he'd been with before had been like this. He loved how soft and wet her walls were too. Finally she leaned down and lay on top of him, panting heavily. She was still tight around him, but the orgasm had slowed.

He stroked her hair, her back. "I, that was awesome." She said breathlessly.

He grinned and kissed her shoulder, "Not so different after all, huh?"

She grinned up at him, "No, but like you said, in good ways."

"Oh, hold on," he put his arms around her waist holding her down as his penis retracted out of her.

Her eyes widened, "Oo, that was a weird feeling."

"Yea, it does that afterwards sometimes. I could go for more, but I think we'd better not push it."

She rolled off and cuddled up to him, pulling the sheet around her. Contented, she fell asleep.

Her omni-tool went off in the morning. She woke up, disoriented and turned it off, plopping back on the bed. She looked down at taloned hands around her waist and thought, _Garrus._ _Ugh, no. Dammit_. She desperately wanted to put the pain of his absence behind her. She looked over at Talek, who opened his eyes and smiled at her.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "Do you have to go?"

"Not for a couple more hours."

He tightened his grip on her, "Good."

She smiled and lay back down. She couldn't go back to sleep. "I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom." She got up and used the toilet, noticing some redness around her inner thighs. _Damn, is that an allergic reaction?_ Miranda had told her she had no allergies anymore. She came out to see Talek waiting outside. He saw her looking down at herself, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just have some redness here, see?"

He looked down at her, "That's chafing, from the hardness of my skin. We should have used lotion. There's probably some in the drawer."

"Should I put some on?" she questioned.

"Not unless you want to go for some more." His voice got lower.

"I would love some more. I've got time before I have to go. Where do you say that lotion is?"

He pointed, "Probably in that dresser. They usually provide things like that. It'll be in a glass bottle."

She nodded as Talek went in the bathroom. Opening the first drawer, she saw he was right. She opened the bottle and smelled it, no odor. She rubbed some on her hands and over her thighs, between her legs. He walked out of the bathroom and over to her.

"You know, Turian sex isn't as rough as I thought it would be," she said, putting the cap on the bottle and dropping it in the drawer.

"That's because we weren't having Turian sex."

She said puzzled, "What? What do you mean?"

"Well," he sat on the edge of the bed, "I didn't want to hurt you or scare you off, so I kept it under control. You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

She nodded, but frowned, "You did too, right?"

"Oh, yea. That was amazing being able to feel you without protection. Come on over here," he reached out to her.

She shook her head no, "I want to know what I'm missing. The other humans, did you do things differently?"

He sighed, "Yes, it depends on how close you are though. Most human females aren't able to tolerate that type of sex. Like you said, it's rough."

She folded her arms in front of her, staring him down, "I like it rough."

He laughed, "Look, I know you're some kind of merc or something, and you're in excellent shape, but you obviously don't see that much action."

She stood open-mouthed. She was tempted to tell him who she really was. "I don't see where you get that idea. I'm a soldier, one of the toughest there is."

He held up his hands, "I'm not trying to insult you, but your skin is perfect. Not a scratch on you. No bullet holes, no scars, nothing. I'm not going to be the one to mark you up with a bunch of bites and scratches. No way."

She looked down at her naked form. He was right. "Talek, when I told you I had surgery and was out of commission for a while, that's a part of what they did. They took away all my battle scars. Believe me, they were extensive."

"I suppose seeing you drink and eat Turian food, I'll believe just about anything. Why does it matter to you so much?"

She walked closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "I want the full experience, I'm not the delicate flower I appear to be. Trust me, you'll see."

He let out a low breath, "Okay. It's going to get bloody, though," he warned.

She grinned, "Now you're talking. Tell me how it should go."

He stood up and started pacing around, "Well, it starts out like a hunt."

She looked at him confused, "Okay."

"Like I'm trying to chase you and you're getting away. It gets pretty physical, violent, depending on your relationship. Turian females are able to handle that and give it back because their skin is harder. Anyway, it can be like sparring, for lack of a better term. Someone finally submits, and then it gets more, intimate."

She nodded.

"I don't think I'm explaining it very well."

She could tell he was thinking of calling it off, "No, no, I think I get it. Okay, try to catch me."

He walked over to where she was. She started walking quickly away. He rolled his eyes, "This is ridiculous."

"Oh, come on. You said you were willing to teach me. Give it a chance."

He shook his head and lunged for her. She deftly moved out of his way, laughing. She jumped on the bed. He smiled smugly, he knew this would be too easy. He reached around and grabbed her by the legs. She kicked him and knocked him back, running back around the other side of the bed. Startled, he got up and saw her moving back and forth, her hands out. He ran around the other side of the bed and she jumped over it and away.

"You're quicker than you look." He said appreciatively.

"I told you not to underestimate me."

She let him get closer and as she ran, he grabbed her from behind. She jabbed him with her elbow and swept his feet out from under him with a kick.

As he knelt down on the ground he looked up at her, pacing in front of him like an animal, panting. He growled and ran at her, this time catching her by the ankle making her fall to the ground. She kicked and crawled away from him, but he pulled her towards him, grabbing her hand over hand. He pinned her to the ground and leaned over her back triumphantly. "Submit?" he demanded.

She looked back at him over her shoulder, "I'm just getting started." He was puzzled, then felt an intense pain in his arm as she bit him. He let go for a second, and she took advantage and bucked him off of her. He turned around and saw her standing across the room, hair wild, his blue blood dripping off her mouth. He growled loudly and in two steps had jumped up and grabbed her, this time pinning her to the wall. She felt his hot breath on her, she could barely move. He leaned over and bit the fleshy part of her upper arm. She cried out in pain, but he barely registered it. Trying to get his teeth out of her, she wrangled her other arm out while he was distracted and reached up behind his head. She pulled hard on the back of his fringe to try and pull his head off her. It had the opposite effect. He growled loudly and bit her again, a bit farther up her shoulder.

 _Fuck! He wasn't kidding,_ she thought. He looked down at her with wild eyes and swiftly picked her up and held on to her tightly as he dropped down to the ground. He held her arms up with one hand, and scratched down her back with his other hand. She gasped in pain. He pulled his hand out from behind her back and still holding her hands over her hand, started to scratch down her sides. She was pinned down. She was pissed, he was getting the better of her, and she was not going to submit that easily. She leaned her head up and bit on the side of his neck. He grabbed her by the hair and whipped her head back, "NO!" he yelled, "Not there, further down." He let go and she bit down on him lower on his carapace by his shoulders.

His loud groans told her she was successful. Remembering earlier, she grabbed his fringe again and pulled hard. He used his leg to spread hers apart swiftly, and reached down with his hand towards her crotch. At the same time he licked at her neck, his rough warm tongue ravaging her. She felt his finger enter her, dipping in a few times, then he positioned himself over her and forcefully impaled her. She cried out, the pleasure was overwhelming. He pinned down her upper body, and she wrapped her legs around him as he thrust into her repeatedly. He was bigger than last night, if that was possible, and the ridges on his penis were deliciously finding every pleasure point.

She started to scream and she climaxed, biting down on his arm. He roared, and she felt him cum inside her. It felt hot inside her, different from last night. She continued to climax as he grabbed her and sat up, holding her tightly against him. She continued to orgasm on him and he continued to spasm hot liquid deep inside her. She fell limp against him as they came down off their mutual high. He caressed her softly, licking at the wounds he'd made from his bites. He felt her soft body against his, "I didn't hurt you too much, did I?"

She mumbled against his shoulder, "I loved every minute of it."

He held her tightly. He wished he could see her again, she was different from any other female, human or Turian he'd ever known.

She leaned back to look at him and smiled, kissing him softly. She started to pull up and before he could grab her, she cried out in pain. "Jane, no! Not yet!"

"Fuck, what's that?" she looked at him wide-eyed.

"When it's that intense, my penis has little barbs to hold you in. They angle down, it doesn't hurt unless you try to pull out. Just give it a minute and they will retract."

"Are you shitting me? Why does it do that?"

"It's like a mating thing. To ensure you stay in place so it gets up there, something like that."

"Oh, is that why it was hot, too?"

"It was? I didn't know that."

She started kissing him again, "Yes, it felt sublime."

He drew in a sharp breath, "You'd better stop, or you'll be stuck on me permanently."

She gave him a devilish smile, "That sounds very tempting, but I think I'd probably better get some medigel on me."

He looked down and saw red blood slowly dripping from her sides, from his bites, bruises forming on her. "Spirits, I didn't realize – I'm sorry, I got carried away."

She laughed, "I wanted you to get carried away. It was fantastic. I'm glad to finally have some marks on me, I missed my battle scars. These are a great start."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "You are really something."

"Hey, can I get off now?"

He nodded and she pulled herself off him, standing up. "I'll be right back." She went to the bathroom and turned around in front of the mirror, examining her wounds. "Now that's more like it." She felt more like herself than she had in weeks. Talek came up behind her, horrified at the extent of the damage, "Spirits!"

"I wish you'd quit saying that." She reprimanded. She pulled the medigel out of the cabinet and handed it to him, "Would you rub that in on my back? I'll take care of the front."

He did as she asked, putting a thin film of the gel over the scratches. She did the same on the bites and scratches on her sides. She had a large bruise coming up on her forehead. He hugged her from behind and she beamed at their reflection in the mirror.

"See, all better." She said.

He wasn't convinced, "I think it will still scar, though."

She turned to face him, "Good."

"I have to admit, you were right. That was the best sex I've ever had, human or Turian."

She hugged him, "I feel the same way. Thanks for trusting me."

She let go and walked out of the bathroom, Talek following her with a wet washcloth. "You need to get my blood off your face."

She held her face up like a child while he wiped the blue off her mouth and cheek.

"Why wouldn't you let me bite your neck? You were licking all over mine." She asked.

He finished wiping the last bit off her and took the washcloth to wipe the blood off his face, "That's different. It's a bonding bite."

"A what?"

He rubbed the towel over his face then looked at her as she got dressed, "You can take a shower if you want."

"Can't – no time. I'll do that when I get back to my ship. You didn't answer my question." She sat down and pulled on her socks.

"A bonding bite, like being married."

"Really?"

"Yes. Anywhere else is okay, it usually fades on a Turian female after a few days, but on the neck is different. That takes place after you are married. The scar is there permanently. The skin is different there. Everyone can see it and know you are taken."

"Oh, sorry I messed up."

"It's okay, you didn't know. There's no mark there."

She started putting on her boots. Talek sat on the bed, "You have to go, huh?"

"Yup."

"So, any chance you might be around on Omega in the next few days?"

"Not after today's mission. We'll be leaving. Then heading to the Citadel."

"Shame. I really enjoyed being with you."

She walked over to him, "I did too. I'll never forget it, never forget you."

He took her hand and kissed it, "Hopefully I'll see you again."

She took her hair clips off the floor and worked her hair up in a messy bun, "If you do, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't make it known we know each other. It's probably better for you, as well."

"That's rather cryptic," he said.

"I'm sorry, I know, and it's no reflection on you. You're awesome, and I do wish I could tell you more, but I can't."

He eyed her more carefully, seeing a half-torn Cerberus symbol on her sleeve. He nodded, "I understand. We'll be shipping out in a few days anyway. Good luck to you, Jane."

"Good luck Talek." She turned for the door and left the hotel. She checked her omni-tool, she had 30 minutes to make it back to the Normandy to prepare for the mission. She picked up the pace and caught a taxi back to the dock. Walking back to the Normandy, she smiled to herself, images of Talek flashing through her mind. She shivered involuntarily remembering how he made her feel. She barely acknowledged Joker on her way in, still thinking about that morning. She was pretty sore, actually. She hadn't had sex since that night with Kaidan. She made a face, there was no comparison.


	2. Chapter 2

She knew she needed to take a shower, but in the elevator her hunger won out. She went down to the mess hall. Some of the crew were still straggling in from their night out. She nodded at a few of them as they came in. She got a few strange looks, _My hair must really be a mess,_ she thought. She grabbed something to eat and sat at one of the tables, still mulling over her time with Talek. It went much better than she thought it would. _I'm ruined for humans now, forever,_ she thought. She tore off a piece of bread and popped it in her mouth. There was a lot about Turians she didn't know. She liked the fierceness of the sex, it made her feel alive. Their erogenous zones were different, too. The whole biting thing, interesting. He really went crazy when she pulled on his fringe too. Suddenly she was thunderstruck. She froze holding her food in midair as she flashed back to that day she sparred with Garrus. She'd bit him, and he attacked her. Her mind raced, thinking back, he'd pressed her up against the wall, hard, growling. _Just like Talek did!_ She dropped the bread and put her hands up to her forehead, closing her eyes and picturing that day. Even though it was actually years ago, for her it was only two months ago, still fresh.

Garrus had held her against the wall, nearly choking her. She brought up the memory, him holding her down, her unable to get his hand off her throat and he started banging her head against the wall. Frantic for air, she'd dug at his shoulders, his carapace, then tried to pull his head back by pulling on his fringe. Her heart started to race reliving the memory. He'd growled at her, then picked her up and put her on the ground, held her hands up over her head and – holy hell, he'd pushed her legs apart. She could barely breathe, she couldn't believe it, he'd been attracted to her, he'd actually initiated mating with her. She put her face in her hands. She went over what happened again. She'd unwittingly incited him, by biting him, digging her hands in his carapace folds, pulling on his fringe. When she'd called out, "I give," his mouth was over her neck. _Oh my god, he was teasing around my neck, that's a sign of ownership, Talek said._ She gasped, _He'd reached his hand down between my legs, too._ She couldn't believe it. She'd had no idea. She silently got up from the table and went to the empty life support room. She leaned over the table and tried to catch her breath.

 _All that time, I never knew, never._ She struggled to think back, after she'd gotten up, he'd looked shaken, what was that he'd said? "I lost control." He wasn't against being with a human, being with her. "Fuck!" she slammed her fist on the table. If she had been more honest with him, not been so afraid of rejection, he would have known how she felt, and they could have been together. She would have never been intimate with Kaidan that night. "That's when things changed," she thought ruefully, that's when Garrus started to pull back. He was still her friend, but he must have known they had slept together. She shook her head as the tears of regret fell down uncontrollably.

She stayed like that, her mind reeling from the revelation, and the pain of knowing not only was he gone, but they'd had no chance to act on their mutual attraction. "I can't fucking believe it," she said to herself over and over, tears continuing to flow.

Suddenly her omni-tool lit up, _"Commander? We need to go over today's mission on Omega. The crew is back on the ship."_ Miranda's clipped voice broke her out of her thoughts.

She pulled up her head, "Right, yes, I'll uh, give me twenty minutes to get cleaned up and I'll be down."

 _"_ _Of course, Commander,"_ she replied.

She wiped her eyes, took a few deep breaths and left the room for the elevator across the hall. Luckily, no one was there as she got in and went up to her quarters. She was furious at herself, that she'd wasted her time with Garrus, had been too much of a coward to put her feelings out there. She stripped off her clothes and got in the steaming hot water of her shower. She thought back to the night before Ilos when she went down to talk to Garrus about coming up to see her in her quarters. She must have been too subtle, he hadn't been able to pick up on her cues. He was so concerned about the Mako being ready, about her being prepared, it must not have ever occurred to him what her real purpose was.

"So I turned to that idiot Kaidan," she berated herself. How that must have hurt Garrus. She banged the wall of the shower in frustration. She might have had a second chance with him if she'd had more time, but the attack on the Normandy stopped that. Now he was likely dead, and she had to live with the regret and the what if.

She finished rinsing off and stood in front of her mirror. She looked at her reflection and saw why the crew was staring at her. She touched her fingers to a large purple bruise on her forehead. She glanced down and saw the bite marks and scratches on her.

"Good," she said, setting her jaw. She wasn't going to play it safe anymore. She had a second chance at life, whether she liked it or not, and she wasn't going to waste time not being who she really was. "And if anyone doesn't like it, they can go fuck themselves," she muttered.

She brushed her long hair and braided it up into a tight bun. Her face was still a bit puffy from crying, but the bruise was so prominent, it wasn't as noticeable. She got dressed and went downstairs to Miranda's office.

Miranda started a bit at her appearance, but maintained as they discussed the day's mission. They successfully recruited Mordin that day. The next few days Shepard worked like a machine, recruiting Jack, Kasumi and Zaheed.

"I must admit, I'm impressed at your performance, Commander. You've certainly exceeded expectations." Miranda told her.

Shepard sat across from her in her office chair. She hated it when she talked about her like she was an AI. "I'm a soldier. That's what we do."

Miranda studied her. "Yes, understood. However, you've only recently recovered, and we don't want you getting burned out."

"I'm fine." She said.

Miranda sighed, she was a tough nut to crack, "Well, the rest of crew has to be considered as well. I strongly suggest shore leave, at least until tomorrow. We're on the Citadel, we need to restock."

Shepard sat forward, elbows on her knees, "Sure, okay. Go ahead and let the crew know."

Relieved, Miranda nodded, "And Shepard? Make sure you get off the ship as well."

Shepard knew if she pushed it, she was likely to be put on forced time off, "Okay, Miranda."


	3. Chapter 3

That afternoon the crew was mostly off the Normandy, and Shepard wandered around the Citadel aimlessly. She got something to eat, then considered returning to the Normandy. She could at least work out her energy in the gym in the cargo bay. Suddenly she thought about the shooting range on the Citadel. Bringing up her omni-tool, she found the location and made her way over there.

Open to all species, it was a large building that contained rentable rooms of combat sims with a vast weaponry available. She walked inside, feeling a bit invigorated. Shooting something was always a good way to work out her stress. She checked in and went to the main lobby. _Damn, there's a que._ She looked around as groups of mercs and soldiers stood by, waiting for rooms to be available. She leaned against the wall, arms folded. _Well, it's not like I have anything else to do._ A rowdy group of Krogans caught her attention and she moved to the other side of the room. She didn't want to get in a fight and get kicked out. She stood by a group of Turians, and struck up a conversation with one of them.

"Thought it would be slow tonight," she started.

"Yea, us too. They need to open another facility like this up." He said.

She nodded.

He was with a group of friends. She congratulated herself on not scanning the crowd for Garrus. She'd finally stopped doing that.

The Krogans were called and they went down the hall, slapping each other on the back. She grinned, thinking back to Wrex and how much he loved a good fight.

She caught the Turian looking down at her puzzled, "They remind me of a good friend I used to have." She explained.

He nodded with a grin. Suddenly his group was called.

"You'll have to double up, if that's okay." The official told them. They discussed it and the one who had been talking to Shepard turned back and stood in front of her.

"Hey, my two friends are taking one room, I've got the other. You can share with me, if you want, there's space. That way you don't have to wait so long for a single room." He held the key card in his hand.

"Oh, sure, that'd be great, thanks." She smiled at him and they walked behind the other group down the hallway. His friends stopped at one room, "See you later Matt." They called to him.

They entered the next room, a large shooting range that had different types of targets that could be brought down, some static, some holo enemies of your choosing. A score board was posted above. The weapon room was on the side, racks with guns filled with dummy rounds. As he opened the weapons room, Shepard walked up to him, "Hey, thanks again for letting me share the room with you. I would have been waiting another hour for sure."

He nodded, "It's more challenging with someone else."

She held out her hand, "I'm Jane."

"I'm Matt." He gave her a firm handshake.

"Isn't that a bit odd, having a human name?" she asked.

He laughed, "It's a nickname my human co-workers gave me a long time ago. My Turian name is long and hard to pronounce. It kind of stuck."

She nodded. They chose different weapons, discussing the benefits of each. Locking the weaponry room door, they entered the range. They shot different targets for the next hour, competing against each other. He had a good sense of humor, and she enjoyed his banter. They re-chose weapons, and as he modded out his assault rifle, she got a good look at him. He had no bondmark on his neck, she had learned to look for that. _Like a ring on a human,_ she thought. He was talking to her, but she wasn't listening. He had darker brown skin and white markings on his face. His eyes were green, that was unusual, she thought. She was attracted to him, and surprised at the fact. _I'd love to feel him wrapped around me,_ she thought.

He stopped and looked down at her, "Do you want to take a break or something?"

"Oh, maybe get some water real quick."

"I'll be right back," he went out to the hallway and brought back two glasses. They drank them quickly and grabbed their weapons, going back out to the adjoining range room.

"Geth okay?" she asked him.

He nodded and readied his weapon. They took out hologeth for the next 15 minutes, their scores edging close together. It ended in a tie.

"Looks like we'll have to have a tie breaker," Shepard said, putting her hand on her hip.

"Yea, but this time, sniper rifles."

"You're on," she said, walking behind him into the weapons room. Sniping wasn't her forte, she was better at frontal attacks. Inside the weapons room, she looked around, "What do you suggest?"

He reached up, "Well, you can't really go wrong with the black widow, although capacity is low."

He got close to her and started to hand her the rifle, then instead put it down on the table, "Or, maybe we could do something else." He reached over and put his hand around her waist.

Shocked, she looked up at him, "Am I that obvious?"

He laughed, "No, but I could smell your desire."

She blushed furiously, "What?"

"Turians have a keen sense of smell. I've been with humans before, I picked up on your pheromones. When we came in here it nearly knocked me over."

She looked down, embarrassed.

"No, no, it's not like that, it's flattering. That's why I asked you to come with me on the range."

She scrunched up her face, "In the lobby?-"

He shook his head no, "I just thought you were pretty."

She made a face. He said, "No, really. Your features are attractive, what do you call it? Angular."

"Is that another word for skinny?"

"No, you're strong as well. Watching you fight was a real turn on. I was pleasantly surprised when you were attracted to me as well. Most humans don't feel that way about Turians." He leaned against the weapons rack and crossed his arms.

"I'm not like most humans."

"I can see that. I thought we could maybe spend the rest of the time in here, finding something else to do."

She looked up at him and put her hands around his neck, "That sounds like a great tie-breaker."

He reached up and pulled her hands down, walking over and locking the door to the weapons room. She watched as he brought up his omni-tool and scanned the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Checking for vid-feed. It's clear." He shut it off and walked over to her. "Um, I'm leaving after tonight, I'd love to have some fun with you, just tonight-"

She stopped him, "I get it, I'm not looking for anything more either."

He grinned, "We've got the room for 40 more minutes." He walked over to her and reached up for her braided bun. She pulled the pins out and undid the braid. He ran his talons through her hair, "So soft," he said, impressed it was down to her waist.

After being brought back by Cerberus, she'd considered cutting it short. Miranda had told her how while she was in the coma she used to brush it out for her and braid it, putting it up on her head. She was proud of how she'd been able to keep it in such good condition for her. Creeped out, Shepard had gone back to her quarters and grabbed a knife, holding it at the base of her braid at her neck, looking in the mirror. Then she'd remembered how much Garrus had enjoyed it, how much he complimented her on it and she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Matt leaned down to kiss her, still raking his fingers down the back of her hair. She reached her hands up and worked her fingers into his fringe. She felt him grin under lips and let out a low growl.

He reached out and held her close, leaning over her, licking at her chin. He could sense her hesitation, "You've been with many Turians?"

"Um, just once. I hope I'm not that much of a novice." She continued to try to kiss him.

"Hmm. Lick me here," he pointed at his mandible, and she obliged, eliciting moans and low growls from him.

"Like that?" she asked seductively.

"Oh yes." He pulled back and she reached down to pull off her top. He stopped her, "No, let's do something else."

"But I thought-" she started.

He looked around the room, "We wouldn't be able to clean up a bunch of blood in here."

She nodded.

He yanked on her pants, "Take these off."

She felt a shiver down her spine. She reached over and took off her boots, socks and pants, pulling her panties down. Matt was starting to kneel down in front of her, when she stopped him.

"Wait, you first."

He looked up at her, "Are you sure?"

She didn't want him losing control with those sharp teeth on her. She wanted him calm and satisfied. "Definitely."

"I don't have any protection with me." He frowned.

This conversation again, "I don't have dextro allergies, at all. No worries."

He shrugged, "If you're sure."

She pulled at the waistband of his pants, "I'm sure."

He unhooked his pants and let them fall down, Shepard knelt in front of him, running her hands over his plates. She put more pressure on them, leant forward and kissed lightly around them and watched as the head of his penis started to emerge. As it did, she started licking around it, sucking lightly on the tip as Matt gasped and reached back on the table for support.

She looked up at him, "Has anyone ever done this for you before?"

"Unh, yea, but with a condom on."

"Oh, well, this should feel much better," and she leaned down and took the head in her mouth, sucking harder on it as it continued to grow bigger. She reached her hand down and started squeezing the base. She briefly thought about the spines, but remembered Talek had said that that was when the sex was more violent, so she should be okay. She held onto the back of his leg with her other hand and worked his big cock with her mouth, sucking lightly, then harder pulling her mouth off to lick up the side of it. Matt felt like he was going to pass out from the feeling of her wet warm mouth around him, her tongue moving against him.

He held her head in his hands, enthralled with the sight of his penis going in and out of her mouth, her lips on him. She moaned, and he felt the vibration. He gasped, "I'm going to-" he pushed her shoulders back, but she waived him off, holding him tighter. _Spirits, she's going to let me,_ he couldn't believe it.

She felt his penis start to pulsate, and then he let out a yell as she felt hot liquid spill in her mouth. She held on to him and sucked it down. It had an exotic taste, like his tongue. _Better than human cum_ , _wouldn't you know it_ , she licked it off as he collapsed against the edge of the weapons table. She pulled away and looked up at him, caressing his leg. He had his hands over his face, slowing his breathing. She grinned and got a good look at his penis. The skin was leathery, but softer than the rest of him. She could see the ridges vertically running up the shaft and ran her finger over it. It was a lighter color than the rest of him, and more pointy than a human.

"Spirits, stop, if you keep doing that I'll have to throw you down on that table and fuck you."

She pulled her hands back and stood up, wiping her mouth, "Did that feel good?"

He shook his head, eyes wide, "That was the most mind-blowing experience I've ever had. Shit!"

She stood with her arms folded in front of her, "Good."

He pulled up his pants and grabbed her, picking her up and putting her on the table. As she tried to get her bearings and adjust herself, he knelt down in front of the table, pulling her legs up and over his shoulders. "So soft," he said as he ran his hand over her dark curls between her legs. She noticed his talons weren't filed down like Talek's had been. He could really do some damage to her if he wanted to. Maybe that's why he'd chosen not to have regular sex, her blood would be everywhere. All other thoughts left her as he started massaging her clit with the pad of his finger. She arched up on the table, moaning. He started licking around the sides of her leg, then around her opening. "Mmm, delicious," he said and put his head down, teasing inside her with his tongue. She held tightly onto the sides of the table as she felt him enter her, his rough tongue sending waves of intense pleasure through her. She started yelling out, "Yes, yes, holy fuck, yes!" His Turian tongue was able to get far up inside her and move around in a way she never imagined. She felt like she was going to buck off the table when her orgasm gripped her. She screamed out, and Matt held her tightly as she moved on him. "Oh, oh, oh," she couldn't stop gasping. He continued, and she felt her orgasm continue. It felt like it would never end, until she felt the spasms slow and she threw herself back on the table, hand over her eyes, breathing fast and hard. He slowly started pulling his tongue out, and she cried out in protest. He kissed over her and licking her inner thigh, bit down on her, hard.

She cried out in pain, but gripped him with her legs behind his head until he was finished. He pulled back and let go of her legs. She heard and felt his talons come out of her, she didn't realize he'd penetrated her skin. She sat up and looked at him, red blood from his bite dripping from his mouth. He wiped it, "I couldn't help myself, I'm sorry if I hurt you."

She shook her head, "No, it's okay. That was amazing, I've never felt anything like that before."

He stood up and grabbed a towel, throwing it to her, then using one to wipe her blood off his talons and his mouth. He looked her over as she tried to clean up.

"Damn, I didn't realize I punctured you so deeply," he saw the deep nail marks on her legs. He looked around the room and found the first aid cabinet and pulled out some medigel. "Here, let me." He pulled some out and dabbed it in the wounds, and on the bite mark.

"I just wish you'd let me put one on you," she said.

"You'd have to bite really hard for it to show. Besides, this is enough blood to clean up."

His omni-tool pinged. "We've got 5 minutes left."

She nodded and got dressed, braiding her hair back as he cleaned up the room. As she piled the braid on her head and pinned it, he took a last look around the room. He nodded, "It looks okay, don't you think?"

"Yea, looks fine."

They walked out into the shooting range. He stopped and gave her a hug, "That was phenomenal." He kissed her on the head.

"Mmm, very much so."

He let go and started to open the door, "Oh, and I have to warn you, my friends will be able to tell what we were doing, Turian sense of smell. Unless we showered, there's no way they wouldn't know. I don't think they'll say anything, not while you're around, of course."

She shrugged, "I don't care. They can say what they want."

He admired her spirit, and her spontaneity. He gave her one last kiss, "I guess this is goodbye then."

She nuzzled on his shoulder, then took a deep breath and nodded towards the door. He opened it and two humans were waiting outside for the room. They breezed past them and joined his two friends waiting for them down the hall.

"Great workout, how was yours Matt?" one of them asked.

Shepard couldn't help but smirk when he stammered out they had tied. She saw a sudden recognition on one of his friend's faces, and he looked at Shepard questioningly. She squeezed Matt's arm, "Thanks for letting me join you," she said, and walked away. She could feel all their eyes on her back as she walked out. Turning the corner, she heard their voices as they whooped out. She sauntered with more confidence and left the building. Remembering what Matt said, she figured she should get back to the Normandy and shower up. As she walked away, she felt a sense of exhilaration and contentment. She smiled to herself replaying their encounter. She pushed down the thoughts of what could have been with Garrus that kept creeping up in her mind. "It could have been us together, I could have had that with him, all the time." She walked faster, chiding herself for living in the past.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Miranda was conferring with Shepard. "Next dossier is the Krogan." Shepard said.

Miranda frowned, "I think we should go after Archangel. Those merc gangs are after him on Omega."

Shepard shook her head, "I disagree. We need to see what the warlord is up to. It could be a breeding base like Virmire."

Miranda folded her arms across her desk, "Alright, Commander, I see your point."

"I'll take Zaheed and Jacob with me on Korlus. After that, we need to speed some time scanning planets and getting resources."

Miranda nodded, "Agreed." She saw Shepard looking at her expectantly.

"Aren't you pleased? I'm trying to pace myself more." She held her hands out.

"Yes, I'm glad you aren't driving yourself so much. You look like the short shore leave helped relieve your stress as well."

Shepard smiled, "Oh, definitely. I never knew the combat sims could be such a stress reliever."

Miranda rolled her eyes. For Shepard, work was play.

"Hey, I saw that." Shepard pointed at her. They were developing an easy friendship over the weeks of working together. "You know, you should consider getting off the ship as well. There's a whole non-Cerberus world out there."

Miranda laughed, "I know. I've got stuff to do here."

"So do I, but you practically ordered me off the ship to take more down time."

Miranda traced the edge of her desk with her finger, "Well, maybe my down time is here on the ship." A flush formed over her cheek.

Shepard opened her mouth in surprise, _Well, well. Miranda wasn't so one dimensional after all._ "Glad to hear it." She resisted the temptation to ask who it was. She certainly didn't want Miranda asking her about her personal life.

Three days later, Grunt safely on the ship and released, Shepard kept her promise of taking a few days to tie up some loose ends and scan planets for resources. They were headed to Omega to redeem the resources for weapons upgrades. Miranda had ordered a night of shore leave as well. "No need in the crew hanging around while you're out shopping."

Shepard agreed, and after she bought the things she needed, she found herself out on Omega again. She walked down the streets, looking for a club to go to. She wanted to drink and get drunk. She was still haunted by the situation with Garrus, and while being with Talek and Matt was enjoyable, it was still a double-edged sword. She knew their next mission was to recruit Archangel. Aria had told her he was a Turian, and she didn't want a Turian on her ship. The only one she wanted there was Garrus. She didn't want a poor substitute reminding her on a daily basis of what she was missing. However, she'd put it off long enough, and couldn't refuse Miranda any longer. "He'd better not make comments about my Turian activities," she said to herself. Knowing now they had such a keen sense of smell, she didn't want some strange Turian passing judgement on her. He might even hate humans. "I don't want to deal with that shit," she said. She thought back to the morning they went to Ilos, when they were all in the cockpit discussing how to get the Mako down. She wondered if Garrus had smelled Kaidan's scent on her, and hers on him. "He must have," she said out loud. She continued to walk, looking down at her boots. She tried to picture Garrus that day, he had looked a bit off, a bit upset, but she'd attributed it to the situation on Ilos. She shook her head, it was useless to ruminate over this now. Looking back she could see by his body language and how he acted that he knew, he knew before anyone else on the ship did.

She looked up inside the opening of a bright, noisy club. There was an equal mix of species inside. She took a deep breath, maybe she would just try to find a quieter place to drink Garrus' face out of her mind. Someone waiving caught her eye, she thought she heard her name. Suddenly Kasumi came out of the club towards her.

"Hey Shep! Come in! This is one of the best clubs on Omega." She motioned to her.

Shepard started to go in, but was stopped by the Turian bouncer. He was bigger and taller than most. He loomed over her, "Cerberus not allowed." He pointed at the patch on her shoulder. She looked down, it was half off, but a keen eye could still see it. She was irritated. She didn't want to be associated with Cerberus at all.

She pushed against his chest, "I tell you what, I'll give Aria a call, and she'll let you know I can go anywhere on Omega I want."

He guffawed, "Oh, you just go right ahead."

She brought up her omni-tool and called Aria. " _Yes, what is it?"_

Shepard pulled her arm up for the bouncer to see the display. Aria's face was looking back at him.

"Could you explain to this bouncer the extent of access I have on Omega?"

Aria squinted back from the screen, " _Who is that?"_ she grunted in frustration, _"Let her in, and_

 _don't give her any problems or you'll be dealing with me directly."_

"Thanks Aria." Shepard turned off the screen and looked up at the shocked bouncer, "Good enough for you?"

He smiled down at her and crossed his arms in front of him, "You got balls for a human. You sure you aren't half Krogan?"

She laughed, "Maybe I am," she raised an eyebrow and walked into the club, joining Kasumi who had been watching the whole thing.

"What was that all about?" she looked at the bouncer.

"Oh, just a misunderstanding." She looked back to see him watching her. "Did you have trouble getting in?"

Kasumi shook her head no, "I cloaked and got in undetected."

"Right, I forgot," Shepard patted her shoulder.

They headed to the bar, "What are you drinking, Shep? I recommend the house drink, it's sweet and yummy." She handed it to her. Shepard took a sip and wrinkled her nose.

"Too sweet for me," she motioned to the bartender and ordered a Turian whiskey. After the usual conversation about allergies, she brought it. Shepard took a few quick drinks and listened to Kasumi tell her about the different people she'd observed on the dance floor.

"And that guy keeps trying to get an Asari to dance with him, but his pick-up lines are atrocious." She laughed.

Shepard kept sipping on her drink, turning down two offers to dance from Asari.

"Oh, come on Shep, live a little." Kasumi pleaded. "I'll dance with you," she pulled on her arm.

"No way, I'll put your eye out, I'm so discoordinated. I need you on the mission to get Archangel."

She frowned, "Okay, I'm going out there. I love to dance." She made her way through the crowd, moving into a group. Shepard admired her fluid movements. She wished she could dance like that. _Can't do everything,_ she thought. _Even Cerberus couldn't give me rhythm_.

She felt eyes on her and looked around the club. She didn't see anyone, but looking towards the doorway, she saw the bouncer inside, staring at her. Irritated, she strode over to him purposefully.

"Are you still spying on me?" she demanded.

"No, just fascinated by you. It's rare anyone has that kind of direct link to Aria. Impressive."

"Well, I was just trying to get in to join my friend. I wasn't trying to impress you."

He shrugged, "You always drink Turian whiskey?"

She looked at her glass, frustrated. She wished she didn't have to keep explaining it, "No, sometimes I drink Turian ale. Why, you writing a report?"

He leant down closer to her, "No," and he grabbed the drink out of her hand and took a drink from it, giving it back to her as she looked at him open-mouthed.

"You've got some fucking nerve," she spat out.

"Yes, yes I do. Would you like to dance?"

She looked at him confused, was he flirting with her? "I thought you were on duty."

He gestured around the room, "I'm part owner. I can do what I want. I've got someone else at the door."

She nodded and reached up and grabbed his carapace, "Then how about you buy me a drink."

He grinned and followed her as she walked over to the bar. He ordered a drink for her and she took a sip, coughing as it burned, "What the fuck is that?"

"A mix of Krogan rancor and Turian ale. It's good isn't it?"

"Damn, that'll knock you on your ass. You aren't getting one?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't drink much anymore. I've got to keep a clear head while I'm at work." He pointed to her drink, "That's expensive stuff, hard to get."

"It's delicious." She took another sip and let it glide down her throat.

"Your friend is having a good time. You don't dance?"

"No, no way. I'm terrible."

"Shame, I was looking forward to seeing your moves." He leaned down and took in her scent, then he walked away, back to the door where he'd been before.

She nursed her drink and watched him as he stood back at the entrance to the club. She shook her head, what was his deal? She saw Kasumi make her way back towards her, sweaty and breathless, "That music is fantastic! I'm glad you're here, are you having a good time?"

Shepard nodded.

"That bouncer was talking to you again, was he giving you trouble?" Kasumi pointed in his direction.

"Nothing I can't handle." She said.

They drank some more, talking about Omega, the club, anything but work. Kasumi made Shepard laugh with her impressions of the crew, and Shepard looked up to see the bouncer / owner standing against the wall staring at her again. He caught her eye and went into the men's bathroom.

Shepard put her drink down on the bar, "I've had enough of this, I'll be back in a minute." She crisscrossed through the crowd and into the men's room. A Krogan at the urinal pushed past her, grunting, "Stupid humans."

The owner looked up at her, washing his hands at the sink. "What do you want?"

"That's my question to you." She said defensively.

He walked towards her, "You're the woman in the men's room, not me."

"What's your name?" she demanded.

"Calen."

"Okay Calen, I'm Jane, and I want to know what you want."

"It's really about what you want, isn't it?" he stood in front of her, towering over her.

"What are you talking about?"

He chuckled, "I smelled your desire when you first came in. It's just gotten stronger since you've been here. I was waiting to see if you would act on it. Well?"

Her face got red with anger. _Fucking Turians and their sense of smell, it wasn't fair._

"You've been with humans before?"

He leaned against the stall door, "Yup." He looked smug.

She got in his face, "You've never been with one like me," and she grabbed him by the carapace and pulled him into the stall. Slamming the door behind her, she reached up and dug her hands into his skin, he was a huge hulking mass compared to the other Turians she'd been with. He leaned down and pulled on her shirt, licking down her neck. He started nibbling at her and she slammed him against the wall, jumping up and putting her legs around his hips. She licked her lips and pulled on his fringe. Holding onto her, he slammed her back against the opposite wall, reaching up her shirt. She was relieved to see his talons were filed down. She threw her head back in pleasure, pulling on his shirt. She wanted to see the muscles underneath.

He pulled back, "Wait, wait." He tried to collect his thoughts.

She shook her head, "I don't have those allergies, you don't need to use protection." She whispered.

"No, let's go to the stockroom next door. It's empty."

She nodded, trying to process what he was saying. He let her back down on the floor and she opened the door. They left the stall, the bathroom was empty. "It's the blue door next to this, we can go there."

They walked out of the bathroom. She saw Kasumi watching her with concern. "I have to go tell my friend so she doesn't call the cavalry to come save me." He nodded and unlocked the storeroom door.

She went up to Kasumi who said, "Everything okay Shep? You look pretty stressed."

"Yea, I have to, um, interrogate him."

She looked in his direction as he opened the door, "In there? Alone? He looked pretty angry."

"Look Kasumi, I can't go into it. I'll be fine, I'm a Spectre, remember. I'll be fine." She started to pull away and Kasumi grabbed her arm.

"If I'm in any trouble, I'll call you. But I won't get the information I need if you're there."

"I can cloak." She offered.

"No, he's got scanners in here, I detected them." She hated lying to her so much, but she was desperate to get away, and as much as she didn't care about what others thought about her life choices, she didn't want to be the center of gossip on the ship. Kasumi was the worst offender.

"Okay, I'm giving you 10 minutes, then I'm knocking on the door."

"Better give me thirty."

Kasumi reluctantly agreed, and Shepard rolled her eyes as she walked to the door. Closing it behind her, Calen faced her smiling. The room was mostly crates, food storage, some chairs. She quickly scanned the room for vidfeed. There was none.

"I thought you might be chickening out."

"Never," she said, "Now let's see what you're hiding under that shirt." She pointed at him.

"You first," he said, and he lunged at her, grabbing her from behind. He pulled her shirt up and over her head, using his talons to cut her bra off.

"Dammit," she said as she saw it fall to the ground in pieces.

He reached around and roughly pulled at her pants, but she elbowed him and freed herself from his grasp. She ran across the other side of the room. She paced back and forth, "Take off your shirt and I'll take off my pants."

He grinned, "It's a deal."

They made pretty short work of it, and Calen took his pants off as well while she struggled with her boots. "Fucking hell," she said appreciatively looking at his muscular body.

"I could say the same," he said, approaching her and getting a closer look at the scratches and bite mark scars on her, some fresh, some older. He'd never seen a human female let a Turian have that level of sex with her. He growled and grabbed her, it excited him. She let him hold her as she pulled her hair out of its long braid. "I've got to start wearing this down," she mumbled. Her hair loose, she took advantage of his stopping to look at it and she slipped out of his grip. She started pacing again on the other side of the room.

"So, owner and bouncer, huh?"

He steadily walked towards her, "That's right."

She gave him a devilish grin, "I think I can take you."

He reached across and grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him. She swiftly moved her arm backwards and pinned his behind him, pressing her knee in his back and pushing him to the ground. He grunted and pushed her back. She flew off him and stumbled backwards. He growled and trapped her in the corner by some crates. She threw one over in front of him and ran around the side. He turned as she kicked him in the face, stunning him.

She went behind him and jumped on his back. He ran backwards and slammed her against a crate, knocking it over. She grabbed his carapace for support, digging her fingers in it. She could feel him reaching back for her so she reached a hand up and worked her fingers in his fringe and pulled on it. He paused, groaning. She smiled and leaned down to his ear, "Do you like that?"

"Love it," He said.

She felt his hands reach up over his head and effortlessly grab her shoulders, pulling her over him and slamming her down on his legs, knocking the wind out of her. "Fuck!" she gasped. He stood up and grabbed her by her shoulders, pulling her up as well. Facing away from him, she attempted to place a backwards kick, but he dug his hands into her hip, hoisting her up and slamming her face first into a stack of crates. He held her hand down by her face and as he spread her legs apart, she bit his hand. He growled loudly in her ear and pulled his hand away. He grabbed her hair and wound it around his hand, pinning her against the crate, his other hand pulling her by the front of her waist up towards him. The top crate kept moving, and he yelled, "Push it off!" to her. He moved his forearm off her back so she could push the crate off. As soon as it gave he bent her over on the bottom crate, still holding her head down by her hair. She held on to the edge of the crate as he scratched down her back. Her tip toes barely touched the floor as she leaned over the cold crate, feeling his penis at her opening. He thrust into her a few times and he was fully inside. Just as she'd thought, he was bigger there too.

"Damn, I think you're splitting me in half," she gasped.

"You fucking love it," he growled, and leaned down and bit her on her side. She cried out, and he pulled out his teeth, thrusting relentlessly into her. The pain started to be overwhelming as he bit down on her arm. He got faster and faster, pistoning into her. She started to feel a warm wave over her and realized she was cumming, but couldn't speak. He kept moving, she hoped he would cum soon because she didn't think she could take much more, he was so massive. Suddenly he grunted loudly and stood still. She could feel him spasming inside her, and the now familiar hot cum shooting out inside her. He slowed his movements, moving his talons down her back, softly now, and slowing down his breathing. She lay limp, totally spent.

"Mmmph!" he said and smacked her ass, "That was one of the best ever. Best with a human, ever." He let out a loud breath. "Give me a minute before I can take it out."

She nodded. She could only imagine what the barbs on his penis would feel like the wrong way. He unwound her hair from the tangled mess it had become in his hand. She relaxed on the crate as he said, "Ready?" and pulled himself out of her. She was still bent over the crate, temporarily unable to move to get up. He reached down and picked her up, holding her closely to him. He kissed and licked her, all over her neck, her back.

"You were right, I've never had anyone like you." He purred.

"I think I can say the same." She felt like she'd never be able to walk again.

He stood her up and walked around the room gathering her clothes for her as she leaned against a chair for support. He brought her underwear over and dressed her. He took her pants and she put one foot in each pants leg as he pulled them up. She reached up for her hair, trying to finger comb it when she felt a sharp pain on her lower thigh, "Aahhh, what the fuck!" she slapped his shoulder reflexively and saw him withdraw his teeth from her. "Are you shitting me? You bit me again?"

He looked up at her unrepentant, "I couldn't help myself."

"I think I'll get myself dressed the rest of the way, thanks."

He stood up, "I'll let you bite me back."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd love that."

"Yes, yes I would."

Her omni-tool pinged, _"Shepard, it's been more than thirty minutes. Are you alright?"_

She brought it up to her, "Yes, Kasumi, I'm fine. I'll be out in a few minutes."

 _"_ _Okay, Commander."_

She finished getting dressed as he did the same. She knew they had each other's blood on their mouths. Looking around, she asked him for a towel. "There's nothing in here." He grabbed her torn bra off the ground. "This is it." He handed it to her as he went to the sink and rinsed the blood off his mouth. She did the same and used the bra to wipe her mouth, then his. She threw it in the trash and fixed her hair into a messy bun, knotting it as best she could as he fixed the crates back around the room.

She straightened her clothes and looked at him, "How do I look?"

He grinned at her, "Fuckable. Want to go for some more?"

"Jesus Christ, no. I don't think I could survive it."

"Oh, I'd like to try."

She grinned and shook her head no.

He sighed, "You look great, amazing. Like you are, amazing." He walked over and opened the door, letting her go out in front of him.

The dance floor was more crowded than before, and she walked over to a relieved Kasumi at the bar as Calen went back out the front door of the club. As she got closer to Kasumi, her expression changed.

"Shepard? What the hell? Were you guys fighting? He hit you!" she reached up to her face.

Shepard shook her head no, but Kasumi was upset, and pushed her into the female bathroom. "Look!" she said accusingly. Shepard looked at her reflection. It was shocking. She had a black eye, bruises around her throat.

Kasumi gasped, "Is that blood?"

She looked down to where she was pointing and saw blood spots on her white uniform. Kasumi grabbed her arm, seeing more blood dripping down. _Damn,_ Shepard reprimanded herself, _I forgot to apply medigel._

Kasumi looked at her, "What happened? We've got to get you back to see Dr. Chakwas."

"No, I'm fine. We did end up sparring, it's a – a Turian thing."

"A Turian thing? No Shep, we've got to go confront him. You and I together-"

"No!" Shepard said forcefully, "It wasn't like that. I'm fine, and I promise I'll go see Chakwas when we get back on the ship. I'm not discussing it any more." She looked at her firmly. "That's an order."

Kasumi sighed and shook her head. "Okay," she relented, "You're the boss. I think we should get some medigel on you and go."

Shepard took some out of the cabinet on the wall and went in the stall and did a quick job applying it to her wounds.

"Let's go, it's late." Shepard took another look at herself in the mirror. He was pretty brutal on her. She grinned, _Totally worth it._

She followed Kasumi out the bathroom through the crowd out of the club. Outside, Kasumi glared at Calen, who stood impassively, arms crossed. Shepard walked out behind her, and leaned up to him, "You were fantastic," and walked past him.

He called out to her, "Anytime, Commander Shepard."

She stopped short and turned around walking back up to him, "You knew?"

He bent down towards her and said, "Not until your friend called you that on your omni-tool.  
Don't worry, secrets are my business. I won't say anything to anybody. You're an inspiration to the galaxy, and I'm flattered you wanted me."

She looked up at him, trying to decide if he meant it, that he would be discreet.

"You know where to find me. I'm up for more anytime." He grinned at her.

"Shep? You need help over there?" Kasumi called to her from across the street.

She shook her head, "I should go." She ran across the street and joined Kasumi.

Calen called to her, "Anytime!"

Shepard smiled to herself. Kasumi was not impressed, "He's got a lot of nerve."

Shepard put her arm around Kasumi, "Do me a favor, when we go out, don't call me Shepard, call me Jane. I want to try and stay as anonymous as possible."

"Alright, Jane. By the way, what's that blue stuff in your hair?"

"Shit, let's get back to the Normandy. I've got to get a shower."


	5. Chapter 5

Back on the ship most of the crew was still out. Kasumi let the subject of Calen drop, much to Shepard's relief. She went up to her quarters and threw her uniform out, stepping in the shower. The water smarted on her wounds and she watched rivers of blood wash down and swirl around her feet, mixing with the water. She shampooed Calen's blue blood out of her hair. She knew she was being risky, but outside of battle, it was the only time she felt anything. Pain, fear, sex – only extremes brought her out of the numbness that had haunted her since she'd come back from dead.

She stood in front of the mirror. She was barely recognizable from the person she was two years ago. She was pale, thin – all her muscles showed in sinewy detail. Her right eye was swollen and purple. Multiple bruises, fresh from that night and older, yellow – green ones peppered her body. She turned to examine the scratch marks and bite marks on her back, legs and arms. The older ones were healing in scars, fainter. Bruises and cuts from weapon hits on recent missions were also visible. She used to have Dr. Chakwas remove those afterwards, but she hadn't done that at all on the SR2, despite her offers to do so. Her wet hair hung down past her waist, long, dark and in strings. Blood continued to seep from that night's wounds. Her Cerberus implant lines glowed orange. She wanted to hate how she looked, remembering the person Garrus saw and cared for, but she didn't. She didn't want to be her anymore, wanted to bury her own memory with his. Maybe then she could move on. "Like Jack," she mused, a sudden realization. She wasn't using tattoos, but marks and scars to change herself and write her new life on her body.

She took the medigel off the shelf and started applying more of it to the bleeding wounds. Ignoring Kasumi's advice to go see Dr. Chakwas, she attended to it herself. She knew Dr. Chakwas would have questions and want to laser off the marks. She just wasn't ready to deal with her yet. She put on a tank top and walked out down her stairs. She sat on her couch, finishing the drink she'd left there earlier.

Her omni-tool woke her up the next morning, and she realized she fell asleep on the couch, her empty glass on the floor. She groaned as she got up. Calen had really worked her, she was sore all over. "Damn, I think he did nearly crack me in half." She laughed as she put a bra on under her tank top and some gym shorts. She hadn't hit the gym lately, and wanted to work out the stiffness in her joints. She went to the toilet and then put her hair up in a ponytail hanging long down her back.

Most of the crew was on their way back from shore leave, straggling in. Shepard went down to cargo bay and after taping her hands, worked the punching bag for half an hour. She ran some laps around the makeshift track they'd set up around crates and other obstacles. She was the only one there, and she liked it that way. Finally feeling spent, she went in the elevator, stopping at the mess hall to get a quick bite.

Kasumi, Kelly and Joker were sitting at a table snacking and talking. Shepard breezed in past them towards the kitchen. "Shep, you doing okay today?" Kasumi asked her.

She stopped and turned towards her, "Yea, why?"

"Um, just checking." They watched as she walked away from them to the cold storage.

"Oh my god-" Kelly stared at the bruises and gouges on her.

Kasumi kept her voice low, "See, that's what I was talking about. I'm concerned about her. She's beating herself up. Literally. She's not even trying to hide it anymore. I think she might have some serious psychological problems. I mean, I don't know what she was like before, but it doesn't seem normal. What do you think Joker? You're one of the few people on board who knew her before, was she like this?"

He chewed his meal and shrugged, "Um, it's not that big of a deal. She always went to see Dr. Chakwas when she got shot at and get fixed up." He took a longer look at her. Almost to himself he said, "She never looked that bad, though."

"I knew it. And last night at the bar she actually picked a fight with a Turian bouncer."

"Really?" Kelly's eyes were wide.

"Yes, the guy was huge and he beat her up bad. Look at that black eye! I just don't get it."

Joker pointed his fork at her, "You saw her get beat up?"

"No, they went in a back room. She said she had to question him, he had been giving her a hard time. After she came out, she got mad at me when I wanted to talk about it and confront the guy."

Kelly tapped her mouth with her folded up fingers, "Hmm. That's classic survivor's guilt. She's trying to deal with being brought back from death by punishing herself."

"She's strong. She'll be fine. You guys are over thinking it. She wants to keep those marks, don't worry about it. She's not a fucking beauty queen." Joker said, frustrated. Truth was, he was more worried than they were, but didn't want to let on.

"I think I'll try to get Dr. Chakwas to talk to her," Kasumi said, watching her get a shake and drink it down.

"I'm going to report this to the Illusive man," Kelly said crisply.

"No –" Joker was firm, "That's the last thing you should do."

"If it affects the mission, he has to know," she looked over at Shepard, "she's not able to work under those conditions." She brought up her omni-tool, "I'm messaging Lawson."

The heard a loud snort from the next table. "You seriously think that's what's going on?" Jack looked at them like stupid children.

Kelly stopped, fingers mid-air, "Excuse me?"

Jack pointed at Shepard, "Those marks aren't from battle. Well, maybe a few of them are, but not many." She shook her head.

"What do you mean?" Kasumi asked.

Kelly waived her hand in her direction and pulled up her omni-tool again, "Ignore her, she's just looking for attention."

Jack's hand was on Kelly's wrist in a split second, shutting her omni-tool down, "Bitch, don't ever try to psychoanalyze me."

Kelly's arm was in pain, but she tried to hide it, "Whatever."

"Besides, Miranda already knows about Shepard's 'appearance'. It's no big deal." Jack let go of Kelly and sat down at the table next to Joker.

Kasumi wasn't satisfied with that, "It looks like a pretty big deal to me."

"Then you aren't looking closely enough." She pointed a finger in her direction, "What do those marks look like?"

They turned to stare at Shepard as she stood in the kitchen talking to the cook, distracted.

Shaking her head, Kasumi replied, "Not sure. That black eye looks like a punch, though."

"Doubtful," Jack smirked. She looked at Joker, "Well?"

He shook his head, "I don't know, bullet holes? Claw marks- maybe from husks?"

Jack laughed, "You guys are so gullible. Those are Turian bite marks – the sort of circular ones. The lines are scratches, obviously, you can see those through her tank top arm hole. I bet her back is covered with them. And those claw marks, they're talon marks, deep from holding her down." She grinned, "That's what that's all about."

"So, she's fighting Turians?" Kelly asked.

"Yea, I told you she picked a fight in a bar with one last night." Kasumi pointed out.

Frustrated, Jack hissed, "Jesus Christ, those are mating marks, she's been having sex with Turians." She grabbed a piece of food off Joker's plate and put it in her mouth. "So tell the Illusive man if you want, Miss Secretary, I'd love to see the expression on his face."

They looked at her open-mouthed, incredulous. Joker shook his head and kept it down in his food.

"You're wrong-" Kasumi started.

"Oh no I'm not. I know those marks when I see them. I've had sex with Turians before. If you get them really excited and they let loose, that's what can happen, if you let it. If you want it. From the looks of her, she's been having a really good time. Some of those are older." She squinted at her.

"Are you serious?" Kasumi asked.

Jack leaned forward, "Those bite marks on her inner thighs – there's only one way you get those. She's been hiding that under her under her uniform. I guess she figures she doesn't give a fuck anymore."

"But why doesn't she get the marks removed?" Kelly asked.

Jack shrugged, "Damned if I know. Maybe she likes how it makes her look. Pretty bad ass if you ask me."

Kelly narrowed her eyes, "You said Operative Lawson knows? Did she tell her?"

Jack shook her head, "No, I told her what it was. She asked me about it last week, she saw her working out, and no, she didn't think it was any business of the Illusive man."

Kasumi thought back to the events of the night before, it all fit, the way she talked to Calen after, they didn't look mad at each other. She could see his face as he called out "Anytime!" with a smile, and Shepard had looked down and smiled as well. _All be damned._

"She's right. That's what's been going on. Well, in that case, I'm going to respect her privacy. We should all do that." Kasumi looked pointedly at Joker.

"What? What? I haven't said anything." He protested.

"Yes, but you have a big mouth." Kasumi said.

"Look who's talking."

"I agree. We shouldn't talk about it," Kelly said.

Jack interjected, "It doesn't matter, anyone with eyes and a little knowledge about Turians will figure it out." She got up from the table and went back to the one she was sitting at.

They discussed it a little further when Shepard walked back towards them and through the mess hall. She stopped at their table, "Kasumi, you ready to go get Archangel today?"

"Definitely, Shep."

"Good, I'm taking Miranda as well. I don't want to raise suspicion with the merc bands. Be ready in about 2 hours?"

Kasumi nodded. The group tried not to stare at the marks on her. She walked into the elevator and showered and readied for the mission.


	6. Chapter 6

Miranda and Kasumi followed her on Omega, joining up with the merc bands going after Archangel.

"What!" Miranda looked at Kasumi, annoyed.

"I'm just trying to figure out where you got that outfit." Kasumi pointed.

Miranda looked down and adjusted the strappy shirt and vest. Her usual black boots were over a pair of tight armor reinforced cargo pants. It was edgy and form fitting. "Look, the Commander asked me not to wear my Cerberus armor so I can blend in."

"I'm not saying it looks bad, it's just – not your style, that's all. Where'd you get it?"

"Jack lent it to me," Miranda said, adjusting her pistol.

Shepard interrupted them, "They've got Archangel cornered. I'm going to talk to the guy with the gun ship and coordinate with the ground team. We've got to walk a fine line of looking like we're with them, but breaking off and taking them out once we're in there. Hopefully we can avoid Archangel's attacks and he'll see we're trying to help him out. I'll be right back."

Miranda and Kasumi watched as she took out the Batarian working on the gun ship. Joining the other mercs, they breached the wall to the bridge. They spied Archangel up on the second story of an apartment, sniper rifle aimed at them. A shot pinged at Shepard's shoulder, knocking her back slightly.

"Alright, take them out," she ordered.

Amid merc shouts of, "They're with Archangel!" her team took them out, making their way up the stairs. As they approached, Shepard took a deep breath and thought about how she would state her case to recruit Archangel. So far she'd been pretty successful with all the dossiers. It looked like he was in a pretty bad situation, and hopefully their help would convince them.

She walked up to see him hold a finger up to silence them while he took out two more mercs.

She sauntered up as he turned around and sat down, "Archangel?" she said firmly.

He leisurely sat and took off his helmet, "Shepard. I thought you were dead."

It was Garrus.

"Garrus," she whispered, then yelled out, "Garrus!" she ran over to him and grabbed his arm, hugging him. She pulled away to look at him, fighting back tears.

"Well, that explains why I couldn't find him," Miranda grumbled.

"I, I can't believe it's you!" she shook her head, searching his eyes. Something was wrong. His reactions were flat, he never let go of his rifle or moved the whole time. "It's me, Jane." She said.

"You're dead." He said flatly.

"I was in a coma for 2 years, I was rebuilt, I've got the Normandy back, well, a rebuilt Normandy, and getting a crew together." She could tell he wasn't registering the situation. "How long have you been holed up here?"

"A few days, I think. I can't remember."

"He's hyped up on stims," Kasumi said.

Shepard looked at him more closely and nodded. "We need to get you out of here. What's the plan?"

She ended up leaving Miranda with him with a stern warning, "Keep him alive." And she went downstairs with Kasumi to take out the rest of the threat. Back upstairs the rifle fodder were gone, and the mercs were bringing out their hardened soldiers. Between the four of them, they were taking them out pretty quickly. She looked over at him, and it started to register that she had him back, he wasn't dead, he was going to be with her. She could get a second chance. She grinned, "Like old times," she yelled over to him as she took out a merc who rappelled down the wall into their floor.

"You bet!" he shouted back, sniping another.

Suddenly their attention was taken by the merc leader in the gunship. Although she'd disabled it, they'd been able to get it up in the air. She ran across to take cover, and Garrus stood up shooting at it to protect her. A missile got him right in the face and he collapsed down.

"Garrus!" she screamed. She couldn't make her way over to him, but saw blue blood gushing out. With a fury she put all her firepower into taking the gunship out. With Kasumi and Miranda's help it finally exploded.

She ran over to him, terrified. He wasn't moving, "Garrus," she wailed softly, attempting to move him. Suddenly he took a sharp breath in. "Joker!" she called on her omni-tool, "Get a shuttle to our location, stat! We've got Garrus, and he's been shot."

She turned her attention back to him as he gurgled on his blood, disoriented and grabbing his rifle. "Hang on Garrus, hang on, we're getting you out of here."

Kasumi grabbed medigel and handed it to Shepard who frantically applied it to his neck and face.

Miranda looked down at him, "He's not going to make it."

Shepard snapped her head up, "You shut the fuck up! Make yourself useful and get me more medigel!"

They were able to stabilize him in the shuttle and back on the Normandy Dr. Chakwas took over. She refused to let Shepard in, so she reluctantly went up to her quarters, making a quick report to the Illusive man. She changed into her casuals and went straight back down to medbay, insisting Dr. Chakwas let her in. Shepard still had his blue blood all over her from where she'd cradled him on the shuttle.

"I'm doing delicate surgery, sit in the corner and be quiet or you'll have to leave," she said curtly.

Shepard nodded and did as she was told, watching the doctor work diligently to patch together his face. After a while, she looked back at Shepard, "Sanitize your hands, I need your help."

Shepard sprang up and did so, joining the doctor as she held onto a laser and pointed at a tray, "Hold that for me, and hand me the items as I ask you for them. Gauze."

Shepard handed it to her. She assisted her in this way for the next hour as she watched the doctor skillfully reconstruct the skin on his face with grafts and bandages it so that it was still mobile. Finally she leaned back, her hand wiping the sweat off her brow.

"That's all I can do for now. This bandage should hold for quite a while until the scar tissue heals up and I can remove it." She looked up at Shepard, "Thanks for your help. I'm not as well-versed as I'd like about Turian physiology, but I know enough."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Yes, I believe so. You were able to stop the arterial bleeding with the medigel on Omega. Fortunately I had a replacement blood supply on board, good for any dextro species. He'll be out for the rest of the day, likely, part of tomorrow too."

"That long?" Shepard looked down at him, worried.

"Not from the surgery, that's from the effects of days of stims and dehydration. I expect a full recovery. He'll have some pain and it will scar, but he should be fine." She patted her shoulder, "You should go and get cleaned up. I'll be here to monitor him."

Shepard shook her head no, "I'm staying here with him. I'm not leaving." She said firmly.

Dr. Chakwas could tell there was no arguing with her. She gestured to a chair she could pull over and started cleaning up her supplies.

Shepard sat and held Garrus' hand, stroking it. She went over the events of that day, and the events on the SR1. She felt guilty, she should have gotten to him sooner. Of course, if she'd known he was Archangel she would have. She had no idea, nobody did. Even the Illusive man was shocked.

"Well, Shepard, it looks like you are assembling your old team after all." He'd said. She couldn't tell if he was being snide or not, but didn't care. She had Garrus back and she was never going to let him go.


	7. Chapter 7

A sudden movement jarred her awake, and she realized she was holding onto his arm, leaning her forehead against him. She looked up at the monitors. Everything looked like it did before. Dr. Chakwas was asleep in her bed in the back. If the alarms went off, she'd be up to attend to him.

Shepard looked back at Garrus and lightly stroked the undamaged side of his face, smiling to herself. She finally felt at home on the Normandy for the first time since she was back. She couldn't wait until he was awake and they could really talk. She leaned against him and went back to sleep.

Her omni-tool woke her up the next morning and she rubbed her eyes, looking over at Garrus. He was still peacefully out. Dr. Chakwas was sitting at her desk.

"How's he doing this morning?"

She smiled, "Well. As expected. You really should get something to eat, or you'll be in here too, connected to machines."

"If you've got something in here to snack on, I'll take it, but I'm not leaving."

Dr. Chakwas sighed and rummaged around in her cabinet, pulling out an energy bar and bringing her a drink of water.

"Thanks." Shepard sat and ate, periodically patting Garrus' arm.

 _"_ _Commander, we need to debrief and plan for the next mission."_ Miranda's voice came over her omni-tool.

"Not until Garrus is up and better. Unless it's a ship emergency, I'm not leaving." She answered.

 _"_ _Understood, Commander."_ Miranda was irritated, but she knew there was no arguing with her.

Shepard stood up and stretched and used the bathroom in medbay. Coming out, she stood over his bed and looked down at him.

"Good to have him back, isn't it?" Dr. Chakwas smiled.

"It's like an answer to a prayer."

She sat back down in her chair, and started looking over messages on her omni-tool. Suddenly an alarm went off and she shot up. Dr. Chakwas ran over and looked at the screen.

"He has a fever, he's rejecting the graft. I've got to go back in there."

"Okay, I'll clean up," Shepard started.

"No – this will be microsurgery, I don't need your help. You need to go, I've got to re-start the sterilization of medbay so his wound doesn't get infected."

"But – "

Dr. Chakwas looked at her sternly, "You're still covered in dirt and blood. I don't have time, you need to leave, NOW."

Shepard nodded and left medbay, standing outside the door feeling completely helpless. "Not sterilized," she repeated looking down at her dirty clothes and hair, and immediately went up to her quarters to shower.

Even after that, Dr. Chakwas wouldn't let her re-enter or give her an update. Not wanting to distract her from her work, Shepard had no recourse but to get something to eat and do the work she'd been putting off.

Figuring no news was better than bad news, Shepard reassured the crew he was recuperating and tried to convince herself as well. She was working on a report on her quarters when she was pinged by Jacob.

 _"_ _Could you meet me in the conference room, Commander?"_

Puzzled, she answered, "Sure, I'll be right down."

Standing across the table from him, Shepard tried to read him. He wouldn't meet her gaze. _What the fuck is going on?_

Finally he spoke, "Commander. We've done what we could for Garrus, but he's taken a bad hit."

She felt her heart clutch in her throat. She looked down.

"The doc's corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality, but…"

Suddenly the door opened, and just like that Garrus walked in the doorway, "Shepard."

"Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet," Jacob said.

Shepard was speechless.

Garrus walked in the room, "Nobody would give me a mirror, how bad is it?"

She wanted to tell him everything, tell him how he was the best thing he'd ever seen in her life.

Her voice caught in her throat and she cleared it, "Hell Garrus, slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice." She was so excited, so nervous, aware that Jacob was in the room, she didn't know what she was saying.

To her relief, Garrus laughed, "Uh, don't make me laugh. My face is barely holding together as it is. Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are Krogan."

It was her turn to laugh, "Well, I find facial scars very attractive."

They stared at each other for a moment. Feeling the tension in the air, Jacob silently saluted and left. As the door closed, Garrus turned to face her.

"Garrus, I'm so glad –" she started to walk towards him.

He stopped her, "Frankly, I'm more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard?"

"Well, I, it's a long story." She shook her head.

"You remember those sick experiments they were doing?"

"I haven't forgotten. It's an uneasy alliance at best. That's why I'm glad you're here. I need people I can trust."

Garrus nodded, "I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard. I'll settle in and see what I can do at the forward batteries."

Shepard stared open-mouthed as he turned and left. That was it. She shook her head in disbelief. She'd been expecting an emotional reunion, a confession of feelings, and there was – nothing. She put her hand on the side of the conference table and looked down at the floor trying to put together what had just happened. He sounded pretty upset about Cerberus, but he was here, was on the Normandy with her, so that counted for something. She decided to give him some "settling-in" time and then go talk to him later a bit more in depth.

Garrus walked down to the forward battery. He put his hand up to his face. It ached, but based on the damage that had been done to him, he thought Dr. Chakwas was a miracle worker. It had been a relief to wake up and see a familiar face. She gave him a short update, but told him he needed to talk to Shepard to get a full account of what had happened. He entered the battery and looked around, taking a cursory look at the computer and checking out the systems.

"Damn, good thing I'm here. This thing's going to need a lot of work." He turned and leaned against the console, thinking about his conversation with Shepard. It still wasn't real to him that she was alive. She didn't seem the same, her voice was the same, but she looked different, acted different. What the hell was she doing with Cerberus anyway? He didn't like it, but he was willing to see how the mission went and find out for himself. He knew the Reapers were the real threat, and Dr. Chakwas said they were going after the Collectors and the Reapers.

Shepard met with Miranda and planned out the next mission. They needed to go to Haestrom and recruit Tali. After their meeting, Shepard went straight to Garrus.

She was surprised to see him working already. He turned, "Shepard, need me for something?"

She frowned, he was so formal, this was weird. "Have you got a minute?"

He shrugged, "Sure, just checking the weapons systems. You can never be too careful."

She walked over past him and leaned against the railing, trying to think about what to say next.

"You know, I thought I'd seen every weapon available in our fight against Saren, but mercenary work showed me otherwise." He mused.

She couldn't even really look up at him, afraid her face would betray her anguish at the ordinariness of their conversation.

"Maybe Cerberus isn't so bad after all. This rebuilt Normandy is amazing." He gestured around.

"You were doing mercenary work, is that when you left the Spectre program?"

He nodded, "Yea. I just couldn't do it. Not after, well. I wanted to make a difference in a bigger way." He snorted, "Not much of a leader, though. I got my whole squad killed."

He told her about his team, how he'd recruited them and how Sidonis had lured him away and gotten them all killed. He slammed his fist on the console, "I'm still looking for him, hunting him down," he looked at Shepard, "He'll get his someday, and I'll be the one to give it to him."

Shepard saw the emptiness in his eyes that had bothered her on Omega. She could only think she'd feel the same way if someone had murdered her entire team.

Shepard nodded. She cleared her throat, "I tried to find you, when I woke up. You had disappeared pretty good. I'm – I'm sorry I didn't get to you on Omega sooner. I didn't know it was you, didn't know you were in such dire straits."

Garrus waived her off, "You actually got there at a good time. If you hadn't helped to take out the gun ship, we wouldn't have made out of there anyway. Don't sweat it."

There was an awkward silence. She wanted him to ask her more, she wanted to tell him more, but didn't know how to do it.

"Um, tomorrow we're going to get Tali. She's on Haestrom, and we're going to try and recruit her. Would you be able to go?"

"Sure. Dr. Chakwas declared me fit for duty. I'll be ready."

She brightened, "Great. I missed you a lot, Garrus, it's been tough."

He cut her off, "All in the past. The mission now is what's important. Thanks for coming by, Shepard. I've got some things to take care of." And he turned back to his console.

Realizing she'd been dismissed, she reluctantly got up and walked past him, stopping to put her hand on his arm as she did, "I'm glad you're okay," she said softly and walked out the door.

He swallowed hard, but didn't move. He heard his door close. He looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath.

On the other side of the door, Shepard stood in place, thinking over the conversation. He was so business-like, so stand-offish. When she'd started talking about her feelings and what happened, he cut her off. She looked up and started towards the kitchen to get something to eat. Maybe as the days went on, he would warm up a little _. He's probably still recuperating from his experience on Omega,_ she thought hopefully.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day they successfully recruited Tali, and Shepard was relieved to have her on the ship. Of course because they had rescued her from being trapped and in a losing battle, but also for some solace, as things with Garrus hadn't improved at all. In fact, if anything, they were worse. She kept catching him looking at her suspiciously. If she questioned him about it, he denied it. At least Tali was someone who knew her before, and knew her still. It was all too bewildering.

She invited Tali up to her quarters that night after they'd both completed their respective reports to their superiors. Sitting down with a drink and some snacks, they caught up.

"We didn't have much time to talk on Freedom's progress, Shepard. What went on the last 2 years?"

Shepard was relieved someone finally had the guts to ask her.

"I died when the Normandy was attacked. I was falling down towards the planet, but my oxygen tubing had been damaged and leaked. I suffocated."

"Wow. I don't know what to say. So, when Cerberus found you –"

"I don't know all the particulars, but they obtained my body somehow. I think, I'm sure I was never actually completely dead because the planet was pretty frozen. I was in a medically induced coma and Cerberus worked for 2 years to bring me back to life. The Illusive man was convinced that I was the only way to help humanity in the fight against the Collectors, help the galaxy figure out what's going on with the Reapers."

"Do you feel any different?"

"I do, a little bit. I have a lot of implants that help regulate my system, and a cybernetic shoulder, but I'm still me, still the same memories. All my scars were gone though."

Tali shook her head, "No they're not – you're peppered with them. See here," she pointed at her arm. Scars were visible from under her T-shirt.

"Those are all new." Shepard took a drink.

"So, what about emotional scars?"

Shepard couldn't help but smile, Tali was never afraid to be blunt.

"Those are new, too. Harder to fix."

"Like what?"

"Mostly this strange experience of being gone only a few weeks when it's actually been over 2 years. Everyone has moved on. I feel like an unwelcome intruder sometimes."

Tali cocked her head, "With who? With Kaidan?"

She wrinkled up her nose, "Kaidan? Shit, no. We were broken up when the Normandy was attacked. I haven't given him much thought at all."

Tali was surprised, "Really? When you died, oh – um, you don't mind if I talk about it like that, do you?"

Shepard shook her head no.

"Okay, when you died, he was distraught, said he was your boyfriend, that you were both cheated out of a future together. He was head at your funeral service," Tali stopped seeing Shepard turning red.

"Are you kidding me? That's not the way it was at all. In fact, I was trying to figure out how to get him off the ship without him filing charges against me for doing it. We weren't even speaking to each other."

Tali was incredulous, "He made the whole thing up?"

"Yes, well, no, not entirely," she sighed, "the night before we went to Ilos he came up to my room and we were intimate. It was a huge mistake, it wasn't even that good, to be honest. I was just lonely and desperate, and I shouldn't have. I thought I was going to die, and I just wanted someone to hold me, you know?"

Tali nodded.

"Then it all went to shit fast, even before we killed Saren. The next few weeks on the Normandy went downhill with him. Christ, I can't believe he was playing the grieving spouse. I suppose I should have known, though, because he kept trying to get back together. I guess in death he was able to get me back."

"Wow, Shepard, that's crazy. I had no idea."

She took a drink, "It was a moment of weakness and I paid for it, I'm still paying for it. If only Garrus had come up to my quarters when I asked him, none of it would have happened."

"Yea, things seemed a little weird between you two on the shuttle. What's going on?"

Shepard snapped her head up, "So you noticed it too! I thought I was being paranoid."

"Something's definitely changed."

Shepard told Tali about Garrus being Archangel, finding him on Omega and the events since.

"You know, Garrus was so torn up when you died, I felt a part of him died that day as well." Tali mused.

"Really?" Shepard said weakly.

"Yea," Tali thought back, "I didn't see him until the funeral service, and he was broken down. He left the Spectre program the day he found out you went down with the Normandy. He said he blamed himself, that if he'd been there, he would have made sure you got out alive. I think a lot of us felt that way too. I suppose that's when he decided to become a merc, what did he call himself? Archangel? Seems like was trying to avenge you in some way, atone for how he felt responsible for your death. Of course, we were all devastated by your death, but it scared me how emotionally bereft he was. And he spent the last two years like that. Sounds like his plan to honor you by leading a group blew up in his face. That must be hard to live with." She turned at looked at Shepard, "Are you okay? Oh, Keelah, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that."

Shepard had rivers of tears falling down her face. She had no idea her death had scarred him so much. "I – I-, oh Tali, I just," she burst into sobs.

Tali hugged her and let her cry on her shoulder, "It's not your fault, Shepard. No one could have known Cerberus was working on bringing you back, and I'm glad you're back, we all are," she pulled Shepard back and looked at her face, "You can't feel guilty, you had nothing to do with it. You acted admirably to save the crew. Having you back is a gift, and I'll gladly serve even on a Cerberus ship if only to be a part of your crew again. It's an honor."

Shepard wiped the tears off her face, "You're a good friend, Tali, thank you for being so kind. And I'm glad you told me the truth about what's going on, because Garrus won't talk to me at all."

"He probably just needs a little more time. I mean, it's only been a few days that he's been back on board. I'll try talking to him as well. You guys were such good friends before, I'm sure you will be again."

Shepard shook her head, "But that's not what I want,"

Confused, Tali asked, "What?"

"Geez Tali, isn't it obvious? I'm in love with him. I was on the SR1. Our friendship grew and I wanted to be with him, but he didn't act interested in me or I just couldn't read his signals, anyway, it didn't work out. When Cerberus brought me back I tried to find him, but couldn't and I thought he was dead."

"Keelah! I had no idea!"

Shepard got up and grabbed a tissue, blowing her nose. She sat on her bed and looked over at Tali, "When I found him on Omega I was overjoyed, Yes, now we can be together! But it's been a nightmare. He looks at me like I'm a freak and keeps me at arm's length, very formal. I don't know what to do," she let out a little laugh, "I thought we would run into each other's arms and profess our love for each other, but that didn't happen."

"Oh Shepard, I'm so sorry."

"Yea, me too. I'm so glad you're here, though. Most everyone else on board is new, and they don't know our history, don't know me. Am I that different, Tali? Have I changed that much that Garrus would hate me?"

"No, not at all. You look a bit pale, a bit thin, but you've been through a lot. You're still you, I don't doubt that at all. Despite the Cerberus work on you, you still have your essence, your humanity. Your Shepardness – is that a word? Well, you know what I mean." Tali looked at her with concern, "I think you and Garrus will figure it out, but give him a little time."

Shepard looked at her, "But how much time have we got?"

"No one knows that, Shepard. But, I'm here for you, anytime. And Joker is too. He came down to see me in engineering earlier. He said he's happy to be back on the Normandy. He did say he was concerned about you as well. Thought you were driving yourself too hard. He cares about you, like we all do."

Shepard smiled, "Yea, I haven't talked to him much. It's been such a whirlwind, and I spent my free time trying to distract myself from Garrus being gone." She wiped tears off her face. She took a deep breath and sat next to Tali on the couch.

"So, that's my sad tale of unrequited love and loss. Why don't you tell me about how things have been going with you? You said the data you brought back helped with your Pilgrimage?"

Tali brightened as she told Shepard about her triumphant return to the Flotilla and her continued work on the geth, helping her father.

Later when Tali was leaving, she gave Shepard a hug, "He'll come around," she told her hopefully.

Shepard nodded, but didn't believe it. After what Tali told her about Garrus, she was gutted. She felt guilty, for being a coward about her feelings before on the SR1, for sleeping with Kaidan, and yes, for dying. She'd put him through a lot, and expected him to get over it, like she was. For her it had only been a short time. She couldn't imagine going through his funeral, then another 2 years, then him suddenly showing up alive. Still, she could only see herself being thrilled to see him, like a fantasy come true. She couldn't understand his reaction towards her. Maybe she was mistaken, maybe he never had those feelings towards her, or he did once, but time and events extinguished them. Exhausted, she cleaned up her quarters and went to bed.


	9. Chapter 9

In the next few days they recruited Thane and Samara, then on Miranda's suggestion, shore leave on Illium. Shepard stayed at her desk, working on reports. She refused Kasumi and Tali's offers to go off ship. It got late, and she went down to Kasumi's empty room that she kept open to let the crew use the bar. She got a drink and sat down on her couch. She was wondering if Garrus was off ship, when the door opened and he came in with Zaheed. Garrus had kept a pretty low profile the past week, despite her attempts to converse with him. She sat up on the couch, maybe tonight he'd relax and she'd be able to break through the wall he'd put up.

"Hey, Shepard. Figured you'd be out clubbing around Illium," Zaheed winked at her.

 _Dammit,_ she blushed. "No, I'm not interested."

"Me either. More fun on the ship, anyway, right Garrus?" Zaheed poked him.

Garrus smiled and reached for a drink behind the bar.

"What's that?" Shepard strained to see what he was picking up, "Turian ale?"

Garrus shook his head, "No, I don't drink that anymore." He pulled out a bottle and showed it to her, "Turian whiskey."

She got up from the couch and finished the last of her drink, "How about you pour me some too?" and held her empty glass out to him.

Zaheed looked at her with a smirk as Garrus held onto the bottle, "Don't think that's a good idea, you'd end up in medbay all night."

She shook her head, "I don't have any dextro allergies anymore. Ever since my Cerberus rebuild, I can drink it, eat the food, everything. No problems. I swear."

"All be damned," Zaheed said as he pulled a bottle of rum out for himself.

Shepard held her glass and Garrus shrugged and poured her a drink. She took a sip, "Mmm, good." And she took a big gulp.

Garrus poured himself a glass and sat at the bar. Shepard sat next to him and poured herself some more from his bottle. She held it up and he clinked her glass. She smiled and took a drink.

"You don't know how many times I thought about us sharing a drink together, Garrus."

"Is that so."

"Yes."

"Ahh, now that's good rum. I kid you not, Cerberus knows how to stock a ship." Zaheed said, admiring his glass.

"Huh, I just wish they stocked it with better mods so I didn't have to keep shopping for more." Shepard grumbled.

"Well, they got the important stuff right," Zaheed grinned and took a drink. He pointed to her glass, "So, how does that swill taste anyway?"

She looked down at her glass, "Pretty good. It's different, but I like it. The food is good too."

Garrus asked, "So you eat the food too?"

She shifted on her barstool, "Like I said, I can ingest it in anyway. No allergies."

Zaheed leaned over the bar towards her, "Ingest it anyway? Sounds interesting."

She blushed furiously, "Yes."

Garrus steadily sipped at his glass.

The door opened and Kelly walked in. Shepard involuntarily made a face. Kelly had made a few suggestive remarks that she was attracted to Garrus, and Shepard didn't like it.

"Hey there girl, glad you could join us," Zaheed grabbed an empty glass and walked around the bar to the couch. Kelly gave him a broad smile and they sat down together.

Shepard raised her eyebrows, _Well, looks like she's moved on, thank goodness._ She turned her attention back to Garrus.

"You know, I could use your help tomorrow. I have to go out shopping on Illium to get some of those mods I was talking about. I'd appreciate your expertise."

He shrugged, "Sure, if you think I can help."

She furrowed her brows, "Of course I do, we used to go out all the time before, remember?"

He nodded.

Shepard changed the subject, "It's good to have Tali on the ship again. I missed her. She's really matured a lot."

"Two years changes a person."

"Yes, yes that's true." She gulped down more of her drink. She heard a giggle and saw Kelly and Zaheed snuggling on the couch. She turned to Garrus, "Seems like they're getting comfortable."

He followed her gaze, then stood up, "Yea, I think I should go," and he turned for the door.

Shepard scrambled to get off the stool and follow him. She hastily put the top on the bottle and rushed out after him in the hallway. "Hey, wait," she called out to him.

He turned towards her.

"Um, why don't we go up to my quarters and watch a vid or something?" she put her hand on her hip trying to look casual.

He looked like he was going to say yes, then he suddenly shook his head, "Not tonight, Shepard."

She stepped forward and stopped him with her hand on his arm, "Well, tomorrow night then?"

He shook his head no, "I don't think that's a good idea."

The hurt was in her voice, "Why Garrus? What's the problem? We used to mean a lot to each other, now you treat me like I've got the plague, what's the deal?"

The elevator opened and Miranda stepped out with Jack walking past them. Shepard and Garrus looked down at the floor waiting for them to go by. Shepard checked Thane's quarters, which were empty and motioned to Garrus to follow her in. As the door closed, she faced him, "What's going on Garrus?"

He was silent, shaking his head.

"Look, you've got to talk to me, please."

He leaned against the door and looked up towards the ceiling. "Things are just different now."

"Okay," she held her hands out, "I get that. Have I done something wrong, something to upset you?"

"No, you haven't. Look, I can't explain it, It's just - I can't just go back in time to the SR1 like nothing ever happened. I'm sorry." He looked at her.

"I'm not asking for that. I know a lot has happened, and I know there's a lot that I don't know because I haven't been around. But we're here now, and I want to move forward."

"That's what I'm doing, moving forward." He stood impassively.

"I just don't understand," she pleaded, "Sure, things are different now, but I'm not that different, am I?"

He was silent.

She pressed her lips together in disappointment and looked down. She said softly, "Alright, Garrus. I'm sorry too. For everything." She was defeated. He opened the door and left. She turned and held onto the shelving that held Thane's weapons and let silent tears fall down her face. It wasn't that long ago she was crying in the same room, wishing he was alive and she could tell him how she felt. She shook her head repeatedly, _This is worse._

She left Thane's room and took the elevator up to her quarters. Sniffing and wiping tears off her face, she took deep breaths, trying to wrap her mind around how things were with Garrus now. "I can only keep trying," she sighed. She still hoped he would come around, but decided it would not be a good idea to pressure him about it directly.

The next morning she went to Illium to shop for mods alone. "I need to get more planetary resources," she mumbled, seeing how little she was able to get with the credits she had. She ate at the Fish shack and went back to the Normandy. Most of the crew was back on board, though a few stragglers were still out.

She pulled up the CIC map to check on the position for their next destination and Joker stopped her, "Illusive man wants to see you in the conference room, Shepard." Running her hands over her bun, she turned around and went to vid conference with him. Minutes later she rushed out.

"Miranda – get everyone back on the ship, we've got to get to Horizon, now." Shepard burst into her office.

Jack looked up from her desk, "Well, as soon as she gets out of the shower, I'll let her know." She put her feet up on her desk and grinned.

"Um, sure. Thanks." She paused for a moment, then turned and left. _Didn't see that coming,_ she thought. She went up to the cockpit to talk to Joker.

"Hey, Commander, what did his royal hiney want?"

She sat in the chair next to him, "We have to go to Horizon. It's a human colony that's been hit by the collectors. We've got a chance to be first on the scene, get some intel."

Joker pursed his lips, "Righty then, is the crew back on board?" he started inputting data in his console.

"Not yet, Miranda's going to let everyone know."

"Who are you taking with you?"

She leaned back in the seat, "Um, not sure yet. Probably Tali, maybe Thane. He hasn't been on a mission yet."

Joker nodded, "Want me to let them know?"

"Yea, that-"

Miranda's voice on her omni-tool interrupted her, " _Commander, I got your message about Horizon. I'm notifying the remaining crew on shore leave to return immediately. I'll let you know when we can take off."_

"Thanks, Miranda." She turned it off and looked at Joker, "What was I saying?"

"About letting your Horizon team know."

"Oh, yea, you can notify them."

"Already did, Shepard. So, you're not taking Garrus with you?"

She shook her head no.

"You took him on every mission on the SR1." he gave her a sideways glance.

"Things are different now."

"How so?"

She said bitterly, "Ask Garrus. That's what he keeps telling me."

Joker turned from his console and scrunched up his face, "What's going on with him?"

"Damned if I know, but it's getting pretty hard to take."

"You guys were best friends. Not anymore?"

She picked at a thread in her uniform, "Nope. And not because I haven't tried. He pushes me away, doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm going to keep trying because-" she cleared her throat.

"Looks like he's still got that stick up his ass," Joker said sarcastically.

She laughed, "I can always count on you for a different perspective."

"You can always count on me, Shepard, for anything," he looked at her grinning, then saw the tears in her eyes. "Hey, he'll come around. I can't imagine he'd intentionally hurt you. No matter what he's been through the last two years, we've all been through to a certain extent. He'll get over it, you'll see."

She sighed, "I hope you're right. It's tearing me up inside. You don't know how much I've wished he was here when I was brought back by Cerberus. I tried – I had all the resources available to me trying to locate him from the second I landed on the SR2. No one could find him. I thought he was dead. When I found him on Omega, I was thrilled, but he doesn't feel the same way at all." She propped her elbows on her knees and looked down at her boots, "You know, when I was spaced, when I was running out of breath, he was the one I thought about. I couldn't imagine leaving him." She started to choke up and stood up, "I should go," and walked abruptly out of the cockpit.

Joker turned quickly back to his console, rubbing tears out of his eyes. He had watched her through the porthole of the escape pod push the eject button, watched her slam up against the metal work, damaging her armor. He'd seen her as a small speck fall down towards the planet, air escaping from the back of her helmet. That's how he'd known she was gone, because she'd put him in the escape pod first. He relived that moment countless times since that day, and to hear it from her perspective was not something he'd ever thought he'd experience. He was angry at Garrus, whatever he was going through, it wasn't her fault, and there was no reason to punish her. He angrily hit buttons on the console.

 _"Are you alright, Jeff?"_

"Yea, EDI. Fine."


	10. Chapter 10

On Horizon, Thane and Tali made a good team, as they systematically took out the Collectors while gather information on them, and their "improvements". After they got the guns working, they were able to take out the remaining threat, but not until the main ship with the colonists took off.

As one of the colonists verbally berated Shepard, a familiar voice came from around the corner.

"Shepard."

It was Kaidan.

Shepard was dumbstruck. The Illusive man had said Kaidan was stationed there, but she figured he was either dead or on the Collector ship.

"Kaidan, how are you?"

He walked up closely to her and looked intently at her for a moment, then gave her a hug. Pulling back, he said, "How can you just ask me that like it's nothing. I thought you were dead, Shepard."

"I was in a coma for 2 years, Cerberus rebuilt me-"

His expression changed, "So the rumors were true, you're working for them now?"

"Rumors?" Tali asked.

"You mean you knew?" she asked him.

"Yes, but I wasn't sure until now. Why didn't you contact me? We had something, Shepard I loved you!" he took her hands in his.

She pulled her hands out, "Kaidan, we were friends, and we shared something special, but we didn't have a relationship, I'm sorry."

He looked at her, hurt, "Yes we did! How can you say that? Cerberus is controlling you, changing your memories."

"That's not true!" she said defensively.

"Yes it is, and you don't even realize it!"

Frustrated, she snapped at him, "It was a one-night stand before Ilos, that's it. Yes, we tried to have a relationship before that, but it failed, remember! And after Ilos, we were arguing so much we weren't even talking to each other for the last week. Don't try to make it into some romantic vision that's not reality."

He shook his head, trying not to see the truth in her words, but stung by them anyway, "We were having problems, but we would have been able to work them out." He sputtered.

"No, no we wouldn't. I was trying to get you off the ship, actually, it was so uncomfortable. I'm sorry, Kaidan to be so blunt, but I'm not going to lie to you about it."

A look of anger came over his face, "It's him, isn't it?"

"What?"

He pointed at her, "It's Garrus. You're in love with him, aren't you. Aren't you?" he demanded.

"Keelah," Tali muttered.

Shepard was shocked, but remembered how jealous Kaidan had been of Garrus. Seems like he was the only one who really saw that on the SR1. "Yes."

He narrowed his eyes, "I knew it. Is he with you on the Normandy? Are you guys together?"

Startled by his questions, she answered truthfully, "He is on the Normandy, but, we aren't together." She felt her face flush. "He doesn't know how I feel yet."

Kaidan waived his hand in her direction, "Huh, maybe he doesn't want a Cerberus Frankenstein as a girlfriend."

Shepard gasped and out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash and Thane was next to her, shoving his gun in Kaidan's ribcage, "I suggest you end this conversation now." He said calmly. Kaidan glared at him, but knew he was outgunned.

Kaidan shot a look at Shepard, then turned and walked away. He stopped and looked back, retorting, "I still know where my loyalties lie, Shepard. You're a traitor to the Alliance. You've betrayed all of us."

Thane continued to aim his gun at Kaidan as Tali stood next to Shepard and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about that bosh s'tet. There's a reason why you broke up with him twice. He just can't handle the truth."

Shepard nodded, shaken, then pulled up her omni-tool, "Joker, send the shuttle around to pick us up. I've had enough of this planet."

Back on board the Normandy, Shepard quickly left Tali and Thane in the shuttle, not wanting to get into an emotional discussion about what happened with Tali. She went to Miranda and gave her the debrief.

"This is quite helpful, Shepard, the mission was a great success. Of course we wish we could have saved the colonists, but at least you were able to get valuable intel." Miranda folded her hands on her desk and looked across at her.

"Is that it?" Shepard asked and stood up to go.

"Yes, officially. Unofficially, how are you coping with the events on Horizon?"

"Excuse me?"

Miranda unfolded her hands, placing them down on the table and looking at them, "I have access to the com chatter on every mission. I heard what Alenko said to you. Don't worry – it stays confidential with me. I mean that. I'm just concerned, as a friend, I like to think we have a friendship. What he said was abominable. I want you to know that our work on you was extensive, but not like he was saying. If you ever have any questions about the Lazarus project, I'd be happy to answer them."

Shepard felt exposed. She never thought about turning her comm link off, and should have. Not only did Miranda hear the messy details about her relationship with Kaidan, she also heard that she had feelings for Garrus.

"I, appreciate your offer, but I've pretty much accepted that this is my reality. If someone can't handle that, I'm not going to take that as a personal failure on my part."

"But it must still hurt." Miranda probed.

"Of course it does, I'm human, but I'm not going to let petty prejudices or issues disrupt my focus."

"Okay Shepard. I'm here for you."

Shepard let out a frustrated grunt, "How come that's all I hear from everybody these days, 'I'm here for you.' Do I seem that unstable?"

Surprised at her reaction, Miranda said, "No, not at all, but we recognize you've been through a lot, and you are still having issues with some of the crew. We don't know how to support you better than to just let you know that."

Shepard absentmindedly pulled her hair down out of her bun and ran her hands through her long hair. "I'm sorry, you're right. I'm not used to being the one who needs help, at all. I'm the problem fixer."

"Well, it's like you tell me all the time, you can't be perfect."

"I think you're better at achieving it more than I am these days." Shepard said.

Miranda laughed, "You're too hard on yourself."

The door opened and Jack walked in, "Hey, you ready to get something to eat yet?"

Miranda smiled at her, "Just about."

Jack walked past her and plopped on her bed. Miranda looked at Shepard pointedly, "We all have personal lives that are our business alone. I respect your privacy, Shepard."

Louder, she said, "Was there anything else, Shepard?"

She stood up and shook her head no, "Thanks, Miranda. I'll keep in mind what you said."

She left her quarters and walked out into the mess hall. Kasumi called from a table, "Hey, Shep, got a minute?"

"Sure," she walked over to her table.

"Remember I told you about getting Keiji's graybox?"

"Yes."

"There's a party scheduled at Donovan Hock's place on Bekenstein tomorrow night. It would be the perfect time to get in there and get it."

"You can cloak, how can I crash it? He must have good security."

"Yes, but I've been busy these past weeks, creating a false identity for you, planting stories. He won't suspect a thing. It'll work, I promise. Could we go tomorrow?"

"Yea, I think that will work. I'll let Joker know to set a course."

Kasumi was relieved, "Thanks, Shep. You don't know how much this means to me."

"I can imagine what it feels like, Kasumi, we'll take care of it." She got up from the table.

Kasumi cocked her head, "You should wear your hair down like that. Oh, and put more makeup on."

"What?"

Kasumi rolled her eyes, "It's a cocktail party, you have to play a part. You can't go there with a bun and military casuals."

"Right, I didn't think about that."

"Come on, let's go to my quarters. I'll show you the outfit I've got for you to wear."

"Outfit?"

"Just – come on."

In Kasumi's quarters, Shepard held the tight leather dress up to her, "Are you serious? You want me to wear this?"

"Yes, do you have another idea?"

"Well, no. It's just – it's pretty revealing, don't you think?" she looked down at how short it was.

"Not when it's on, trust me. It pretty much comes to the knee. Oh – and I've got some shoes for you too, got them on Illium last time we were there." She rummaged around her closet and pulled black pumps out.

Shepard took them from her, examining them, "I have to thank you for not getting ones that are too high."

"I thought it all out. I've been planning it for a while, and tomorrow is our chance. Thanks for doing this for me." Kasumi's voice took a serious tone.

"Of course. It's not often I get to play secret agent."

"Mercenary, and a bad-ass one at that. I'll send you the dossier I've made up to your quarters so you can review it. Do you need some help with your hair and make-up for it?"

Shepard draped the dress over her arm, "No, I can glam it up when I want to. I just don't get much opportunity to do so." She smiled. "I should go."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

Shepard went up to her quarters and filed her Horizon report. She took a shower and spent the rest of the night looking over the info Kasumi sent her and info on Donovan Hock. In the morning they were close to Bekenstein. Since the planet was on a different time zone than the Normandy, they would be going there to the party early in the morning. Shepard let her long dark curls air-dry, putting some cream in it she'd bought on the Citadel last time she was there. She tried on the leather dress. Kasumi was right, it didn't show that much skin, but it was tight and sexy. She turned in the mirror, looking at it from all angles. She brought up her omni-tool, "Kasumi, I'm getting ready, do you want to come up and see what you think?"

 _"Sure, Shep. I'll be right up."_

Shepard was putting eyeliner on when she heard a ping at her door. "Enter."

Kasumi bounded around the corner, "So, let's see how you clean up. Ooo, Shep, sexy!"

Shepard turned and gave her a dirty look.

"What? It's true. You look great. You are going to put on lipstick too, right? I have some in my room if you don't."

"I have lipstick. I haven't gotten that far." She continued to put her eye makeup on. "Hey, why aren't you dressed up too?"

Kasumi shook her head, "I can't reveal my face. He's got intel on how I look. You'll have to introduce me as your associate. I'll try to keep a low profile when he's around. Once inside, I can move about more freely."

Shepard leaned back and looked at herself in the mirror, "Sounds good. How does this look?"

"Yea, a little blush too."

Shepard put some on, then pulled out her red lipstick putting it on. Rubbing her lips together, she raised an eyebrow for Kasumi's approval.

"Love it. Here – let me have some too." Kasumi took it and touched up the stripe she kept in the middle of her lips. "Great. Ready to go?" she grinned at their reflections.

Shepard was struck by how ordinary this seemed, like getting ready for a girls night out. She shook her head, "Ready for anything." She followed Kasumi out of her bathroom and threw the pumps on the floor, wriggling her feet in them. "Okay." She stood up straight and pulled the dress down. "Let's go to the shuttle."

They got in the elevator and on the way down Shepard's omni-tool pinged.

 _"Commander, are you leaving for Bekenstein soon?"_ Dr. Chakwas asked.

"Yes, on my way now."

 _"I need you to come by medbay for a check of your implants."_

"I'll come by after the mission."

 _"I'm sorry but I need you to come by before you go. Monitoring data indicates that they are out of sync and it would be dangerous to let you go on the mission without fixing it. You could experience a malfunction-"_

"I get it doctor, on my way." She pushed the button the elevator for the medbay floor. They left the elevator, Kasumi saying, "I'm going to get a quick snack to take on the shuttle. Don't like to go on a mission on an empty stomach."

"Grab something for me too," Shepard said as she briskly walked into medbay. The doors opened and Dr. Chakwas looked away from the instrument in her hand up at Shepard.

"Well my, don't you look lovely."

Shepard smiled, "It's for a mission, doc."

"I don't doubt that, but you do look very nice. Sit over here please, it should only take 10 minutes to get it re-calibrated."

Kasumi nibbled on an energy bar in the mess hall. There were a few crew members starting to make their way to get breakfast. It was still pretty early. She looked up and moved out of the way so Garrus could access the cabinet with dextro food. He grabbed a meal and nodded at her.

"Hey, do you have dextro snacks in there? I know Shepard likes those better."

"Um, yea." He took a wrapped bar from the drawer and handed it to her.

"Thanks, she wanted me to get something for her before we go out on the mission."

Garrus nodded. "Where is she now?"

Kasumi gestured towards medbay, "In there. She had to have her Cerberus implants looked at."

Shepard walked out of medbay into the mess hall. _Dammit, there are more people up now_ , she thought.

She shook her head with a smile as Donnelly whistled at her, "Lookin' good Commander!" A few other crew members grinned at her.

She walked towards Kasumi and was jolted by seeing Garrus with her, looking right at her. She couldn't stop the blush from running up her neck and face. Garrus had seen her in workout clothes before, but this was different. He stared at her as she stood next to Kasumi.

"Ready to go?" she asked Kasumi.

"Yea. Everything okay?"

"Yup, got it re-calibrated." She felt Garrus' eyes on her, but refused to meet his gaze. She knew the thin orange lines from her implants were visible, wondered if he thought about her like Kaidan said he did – a Frankenstein. She wanted to get away fast.

"Oh, Garrus found this dextro bar for you. Hope you like it."

She took it from her, "Yea, thanks." She gave him a quick glance and withered under his look, "Come on Kasumi, we don't want to delay any more." She turned and walked to the elevator, Kasumi in tow. Inside the elevator she put her face in her hands.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, just a bit embarrassed." She said.

Kasumi laughed, "You should flaunt it more, Shepard, you're pretty and you've got a great body. You don't always have to be a Marine."


	11. Chapter 11

She'd felt completely exposed under Garrus' penetrating gaze. When she'd glanced up at him, he hadn't flinched. She was dismayed imagining him looking at her implant lines.

Garrus leaned against the counter, still holding the meal box in his hand. He'd been dumbstruck by her appearance when she first came out. He'd spent so much time staying away from her, he'd forgotten how beautiful she was. Then he saw it - not the orange implant lines but the bite scars, scratches on her arms, and a few gouge marks on her legs. They were faint, but definitely there. He silently walked back to his quarters and put the meal on the cargo crate. He leaned on his console, What the hell was going on? She'd obviously been having sex with a Turian, who could it be? He shook his head and slammed his fist down, cracking his console. He already felt like he didn't know her anymore, this was just one more thing that made him feel alienated from her. He thought she was with Kaidan, although that was unclear when he'd left the SR1. She'd been with Turian guys, lots of them it looked like, maybe even a boyfriend too. He put his hands up to his face. He pushed out the feelings that threatened to come back. He checked his omni-tool that Shepard and Kasumi had left the Normandy and he went down to the gym in cargo bay to exhaust himself.

Hours later, after successfully obtaining Keiji's graybox and taking out Hock, Shepard was back in her quarters. She'd had no time to take the dress off, and had hiked it up inside her armor when they changed in Hock's safe. She unclasped her armor and let it fall, taking the dress off next. It was a little wrinkled, but Kasumi had urged her to keep it.

"You never know," Kasumi had given her a sideways smile.

Shepard pulled her hair back in a ponytail, letting it fall long down her back. She changed into her casuals and kept the makeup on. "Not always a marine." She said to her reflection.

She went back downstairs and into Miranda's office for a debrief. They decided to head to Illium.

"I've got a message from Liara and I've been putting it off. I need to meet with her." Shepard said, drumming her hands on Miranda's desk.

"Sure Commander. We do need some provisions as well. I'll give you a list and if you approve it, I'll get them for you while you meet with her."

"Sounds great."

Shepard walked out into the mess hall and decided to take a chance and go see Garrus. She'd been giving him a lot of space lately, and wanted to try and talk to him a little bit. "No expectations," she said under her breath. She pinged his quarters. There was no response. She opened the forward battery. It was empty. "Hmm." She looked around his quarters. His armor was in pieces on the floor. "Damn, look at the damage." She knelt down and looked at the neck piece. The gunship had taken its toll on it. She frowned, it was about time she rectified that. She figured she had enough credits to get him a new set of armor on Illium. She smiled, "Maybe he'd like a nice surprise." She held it up to look for the size engraved on the inside of it, but the damage made it impossible to read. She moved it aside and picked up the chestplate. She used her omni-tool to light up the inside so she could read the Turian size. She found it and was about to put it back down when something inside it caught her eye. She reached in and pulled at a corner of paper wedged inside the inner shell. She held it up in her hand and gasped. It was a digital pic of the SR1 team, she remembered when they took the picture. Tali had wanted it of the crew before she left to go back to the flotilla. It was worn, and as she held the small piece in her hand, she realized he had torn the picture so it was just of her and Garrus, standing next to each other. She lightly touched his image. He'd kept a picture of them together in his armor, all this time. She sat back on his floor. It was an old practice of soldiers to keep pictures of their sweethearts inside their uniforms. Seeing it, knowing he had felt something for her gave her hope. She took the picture and put it in the inside pocket of her casuals. She piled the armor back where she found it, and left his quarters.

On Illium, she touched base with Liara, which was emotional as she knew it would be. She was like a little sister. Like the rest of the SR1 crew, she'd changed, become more capable, more hardened, but in a good way. Shepard helped her track down a spy and promised to contact her again soon. She let the rest of her team go and tracked down a top-of-the-line armor for Garrus. She had it sent to the Normandy, and grabbed something to eat.

Back on the ship, she worked on reports until Miranda notified her all the provisions and purchases were on board. The crew was back as well, and Shepard eagerly went down to Cargo bay and got the crate for Garrus. It was heavy, but she managed it, and brought it up the elevator and down to his quarters. She pinged his door and was pleased he was there to open it.

"Need me for something – " he started.

She smiled and brought the crate in, "I got you something on Illium today." She put it down in front of him and put her hands on her hips, "Go ahead, open it."

Garrus leaned down and opened the crate, running his talons over the shiny new armor. "This is nice, thank you." He held it up. He knew she'd spent a lot of credits on it.

"You really like it? I want to make sure my best sniper is protected."

He looked up at her and for a moment flashed back to the SR1. He put his head down and put the armor back in the crate. "It's great. I appreciate it. You did a good job picking it out."

"Well, I had help." She leaned against his console.

He looked at her suspiciously, "Oh?"

She nodded, still smiling at how successful her purchase had been.

"Tell me Shepard, who is he?"

"Hm?"

He stepped towards her, "Your Turian lover, who is he?"

Her smile faded, "What - I don't know what you're talking about."

"He helped you pick out the armor, right?"

She shook her head frowning, "The vendor helped me pick it out. I did some research as well. Where did you get that idea?"

"Come on now, I've seen the marks on you," he walked over and pulled up her sleeve so her upper arm was showing. "Don't lie to me." Bite and scratch scars were visible.

She turned crimson and pulled away, pushing her sleeve down, "I don't have a lover. I've been with a few Turians, it's true." She realized her dress that morning had revealed more than she wanted. "That was before."

"Before what? I don't know who you are anymore, Shepard." He said with disgust.

Her hurt turned to anger, "Don't judge me Garrus, you don't have any idea what's been going on with me and that's your fault for not being interested. You're making a big deal about nothing-"

He snorted, "Your skin looks like a Turian whore."

She drew in a sharp breath, his words cut her to the bone. "Go to hell," she barely whispered out and turned for his door. She stopped and pulled the photo out of her shirt and angrily stormed back and threw it down on the crate she'd brought, then punched the button for the door and stomped out.

Garrus looked as the piece of paper fluttered to the ground and picked it up, seeing the picture of them that he had treasured close for two years. He felt sick.

Shepard walked quickly past the crowded mess hall, avoiding eye contact with the crew, she walked behind to the elevator door, but the tears had started falling and she heard voices on the elevator. She turned and knowing the crew was using the bar in Kasumi's quarters, instead went in the armory bay. As the door closed behind her, she collapsed in sobs, and held onto the shelving of the gun display. She smacked her fist against the wall, frustrated, she was always coming in this room to cry. "Fuck!"

"Shepard?"

She gasped and turned, seeing Thane getting up from his table.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, I forgot you were in here, I should go." She turned, but uncontrollable sobs gripped her again, and she put her face in her hands.

"It's okay, please, stay as long as you need to, please sit down." He guided her over to a chair. He brought her a tissue and sat silently as she continued to sob.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to catch her breath, "You shouldn't see me like this."

He gave her a small smile, "Like a real person with feelings? It's okay. If you want to talk about it, I'm willing to listen."

She picked at the tissue.

"Things aren't going very well with Garrus?" he asked.

She blew her nose, "No, the absolute worst, actually. How did you know?"

"When we were on Horizon, you talked about him to Kaidan. The one who was your, what do you call it, ex-boyfriend."

"Oh yea, I forgot you were there. It's a big mess, and I don't understand why he hates me so much. We used to be so close, such good friends. I just don't get it." She started crying again.

Thane got up and got her a drink of water. She drank it, trying to calm down. "Thanks."

"What happened?" Thane asked.

She contemplated telling him the whole story. Maybe that's what she needed, a more objective viewpoint. She took a deep breath and told him about their relationship on the SR1, being spaced, coming back and thinking he was dead. She told him about how she buried her grief and longing in the arms of other Turians, then finding him alive on Omega, but how nothing was as she expected since he'd been back.

Thane listened intently, asking the occasional question. She told him about what happened that day, with the picture, the armor, and his reaction.

"Apparently when I was wearing the dress this morning, he'd seen the scars from the scratches and bite marks. I'd forgotten about them, they were pretty faded, I thought. He asked me who the Turian was, and when I told him I wasn't with anyone now, but that I'd been with a few, he said he really didn't know who I was. He told me," she choked up, "That I looked like a Turian whore."

Thane sat back a little. Garrus' harshness surprised him. "What did you do?"

"I don't know, I told him to go to hell and threw the picture at him and left. I didn't want anyone to see me upset, so I came in here. Didn't mean to barge in on you."

Thane waived her off, "Don't worry about it. I was just meditating."

"So, what do you think?" she wiped her eyes and looked at him, completely spent.

"I think he's in love with you and he's jealous."

She laughed bitterly, "No way. He hates me. He looks at me like I'm a freak."

"He acted pretty jealous about you being with another Turian. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have mentioned it at all."

She thought for a moment, "But he was so hurtful,"

"Yes, because he was acting out of his own hurt. I bet he wanted to take it back after he'd said it."

"Maybe."

"You said he was very upset when you died, didn't handle it well."

Shepard nodded.

"When you are that emotionally hurt, you build up a wall to protect yourself. You have to, so you don't fall apart. I know how that is," he looked at her, "As strange as it sounds, he may still be protecting himself with you by holding you at arm's length. Did you ever discuss what happened on Horizon with him?"

"No, I haven't been able to discuss anything with him. When I try he keeps telling me I've changed, things are different now, and we can't go back to the way things were on the SR1." She ran her hand over her hair, "You know, when I got him the armor, he was so happy with it. I was hoping it would be like a peace offering. It turned so badly, I just can't believe it."

"What do your former crew mates say about the situation with him?"

She looked up at the ceiling, "Um, they say to give him more time, that they're here for me in the meantime." She shrugged.

He nodded, "I agree. At this point he needs to come to you."

"I don't want to keep exposing myself to more hurt. I just miss him so much." she let out a long breath and looked at Thane. "I really appreciate you talking to me about it."

He smiled, "Of course, Shepard. Anytime."

"And, I never thanked you for stopping Kaidan when he got nasty on Horizon."

"I tried to stay out of it, but there was no way I was going to let him insult you like that. I didn't like the way things were escalating."

She got up and walked towards the door, drying her face. "I'm going to go up to my quarters. We're taking shore leave tomorrow."

"Good idea. Better to pace ourselves. This mission is tough enough without burning out." He walked with her to his door. She turned and gave Thane a hug. He patted her back, "You're strong. You'll get through this."

She pulled back and smiled at him, "I've got so many friends helping me out, how could I not?"

She left his room and went to the elevator and up to her room. Inside her quarters she replayed the events with Garrus again. She half-expected Kaidan to turn on her, but for Garrus to talk to her like that? She still could hardly believe it. She took a long shower, and looked over her scars. _So that's what I look like, huh?_ She thought about his comment. She briefly thought about going to Dr. Chakwas and getting them lasered off, then thought _, No, I'm not going to apologize for being who I am._

She towel dried her hair and put on a tank top. She got a drink and sat on her couch, mindlessly watching vids and drinking until she felt warm and comfortable. She wasn't sure she should have unloaded emotionally on Thane like that, but she had to talk to someone. Tali was so young, had never been in a relationship before, she wouldn't be much help. Plus she was too close to Garrus as well. She stared at the blank vid screen and let out a long breath. She would just have to try to put it out of her mind and stop torturing herself with it.


	12. Chapter 12

The next day the crew was out on shore leave, including Garrus, much to Shepard's surprise. "He's probably returning the armor I got him," she muttered to herself. Shepard stayed on the ship, working on reports, catching up on research for upcoming missions.

Shore leave over, the crew back on ship, Shepard set course to scan planets and get resources. She stayed in her quarters, wanting to get away from the drama on the ship.

Down in Kasumi's quarters, Tali, Kasumi, Miranda, Jack were enjoying themselves at her bar. Thane walked in, hearing the noise next door.

"Hope we weren't keeping you up," a tipsy Tali called out.

Thane smiled, holding his hands behind his back, "No, I just wanted to see if I could join in."

Kasumi went behind the bar, "Pick your poison."

"What?"

"It's a saying, what do you want to drink?"

Thane sat at the bar with them, drinking and talking. Miranda and Jack left, and the three of them talked and joked. Garrus walked in, to Thane's surprise. He sat next to Tali and poured himself a drink.

"Hey Garrus, how's it going?" Tali could hardly stay on her stool.

"I've been better."

Thane raised an eyebrow to himself, but remained silent. Soon Joker joined them, and Thane watched and sipped his drink as they talked and discussed recent missions.

"So Garrus, did you see how pretty Shepard looked in that dress yesterday?" Tali giggled, "You should go talk to her."

Thane looked over his glass for Garrus' reaction. Garrus changed the subject, "How was it at Donovan Hock's place?" Kasumi went on to tell him about the mission.

Garrus' omni-tool lit up and he read a message, excusing himself.

"Bye, Garrus!" Tali called out and stumbled off her stool.

"I'm cutting you off. Come on, I'll walk you to your quarters," Kasumi put her arm under Tali's shoulders. Tali sloppily waived at Thane and Joker. "See you tomorrow!"

Joker smirked, "Bright and early!" He turned to Thane, "Want another drink?"

"Sure." Joker pulled the bottle out and poured it to him.

Thane drank it then looked at Joker, "So what's your opinion on the situation with Garrus and Shepard?"

Joker held his drink mid-air, "What do you mean?"

"She confided in me about the difficulties they were having."

"She did, huh?" Joker eyed him critically.

"I think she wanted to talk to someone who was an outsider, for an opinion. You're an insider, what's your opinion? I tried to give her advice, it's difficult to watch her be so upset."

"When did that happen? Today?"

"Yes. Are you aware of what happened on Horizon?" Thane asked.

Joker shook his head no, "I don't think we should be talking about it."

Thane leaned against the bar. "Normally I would agree with you, but it's affecting her to an extreme. I was hoping you might be able to help her with the situation."

Joker looked at him skeptically.

Thane was persistent, "She told me the whole story. She was pretty hysterical. It's a big issue for her, and that affects the mission. I tried to give her advice as best as I could, but I don't know her well enough to be as big of a help as those who know her better."

Joker rubbed his neck, "She did tell me about how Garrus was shutting her out. I know she's in love with him. He used to be with her, as well. I don't know, I thought he would come around after he'd been on the ship for a while. Honestly, it really pisses me off how he's treating her. She's got enough to deal with, been through enough without him giving her a hard time."

Kasumi came back in her room, "Well, hopefully she'll sleep that off okay. I don't know what would happen if she puked in that envirosuit. Maybe it's got alarms or something, I don't know." She picked up her drink and looked across the bar at Thane and Joker, "What are you guys so serious about?"

"We're talking about the situation with Garrus and Shepard." Thane said matter-of-factly.

Joker shot him a look. Thane protested, "She confides in her, I believe. Another opinion would be helpful."

Kasumi sighed, "I can sense the tension between them, I know she's upset about it."

Joker looked at Thane, "You said something happened on Horizon, what was it?"

He told them about Kaidan being there and her conversation with him.

"Well, there you have it," Kasumi said, "She came out and said she's in love with Garrus."

Joker waived his hand, "We already knew that. She never told Garrus about Kaidan being on Horizon and what they talked about. Maybe he thinks she's still with Kaidan."

"No, it's worse than that." Thane told them what she'd told him about the events that afternoon, with the armor and him seeing the marks on her skin. "He told her she looked like a Turian whore."

Kasumi gasped, "What?"

Joker turned red, "I'll fucking beat him to a bloody pulp, is he in his quarters?" Joker got up, "Where is he!"

Thane swiftly got in front of him as he limped towards the door, "That is not advised."

Joker tried to push Thane out of the way, "He has no right to talk to her like that!"

"I agree, but to interfere directly would make things worse. I only told you to get your insight, to maybe help the situation. This is affecting the Commander, and she was asking for help."

Joker's eyes flashed at him, but he sat back down on his stool, "Fine, but that bastard-"

"I know." Thane put a strong hand on his shoulder, "I've only known her a short time, but I see you are like family."

Joker took a gulp of his drink, "Fucking hell. He really has changed. He worshiped the ground she walked on before," he shook his head.

Kasumi thought back, "Before we left to go to Bekenstein he was staring at her close up when she was talking to me in the kitchen. He must have been looking at the bite marks and scars."

Joker took another drink, "What did you tell her when you talked to her?" he looked at Thane.

"I told her I think he's so in love with her that he can't let go of the dream he had to be with her before and the grief that defined him afterwards. She said he keeps telling her things are different, she's different. I believe he hasn't allowed himself to see that she is alive. He's holding her back and telling himself she's someone else."

Joker stared at him, "That's fucked up."

"I didn't say it made sense, but emotions usually aren't logical. He was traumatized by her death, correct?"

Joker nodded, "Yea, more than anyone."

"I know what that's like, when you keep someone away. He's become disassociated, his soul from his body."

Kasumi shook her head, "What can we do about it? I don't see how they can overcome it."

The door to her quarters opened and Kelly walked in, "Hi guys," she said brightly with a little wave, "Having a good time?"

They leaned back away from each other, "Yea, help yourself," Kasumi offered and walked from behind the bar and sat on her couch.

Thane and Joker continued to drink in silence. Kelly made small talk with Kasumi for a short while.

"I'm turning in," Joker said getting up.

"I am as well," Thane said, putting his glass in the sink.

They left Kasumi's quarters, Joker making his way down to the sleeping pods. Thane paused outside his quarters, then inexplicably turned towards Samara's quarters.

The door opened, finding her meditating on the floor. A cloud of biotic blue flared up around her as she stood up, "Thane. I am pleased you stopped by. Is there something I can do for you?"

He hesitated a moment, his conversation with Shepard that morning, and her crew just now had opened old memories of his lost family, and a reminder that there's more to life than just the mission.

"I was lonely, to be honest. I thought we might meditate together." He looked at her inquiringly.

A smile spread on her lips, "I would like that. I felt we had a connection."

Her forthrightness surprised him, "Indeed?"

She nodded, "There is something in your soul that speaks to me. I wondered if you had felt the same thing."

He walked over and sat down on the floor, "I believe I did."

She sat next to him and started to meditate.

The next day Joker was in the cockpit, setting a course for Pragia. He was still fuming about Garrus. "He'd better not run into me today," he said, "Fucker."

Shepard took Jack and Zaheed out on the mission to Pragia to blow up the base. Joker ate in the mess hall, watching for Garrus' door to open to give him a piece of his mind. Instead, it stayed closed. A distracted Miranda sat silently next to him, picking at her plate. Joker saw Tali walk in and motioned for her to come sit with him. She got her meal and sat across from him, "I'm not much company today, I've got a terrible headache."

He grinned, "You need to know when to stop before you get that wasted."

She groaned, "I know, it just tasted so good, I didn't realize how much I actually drank. I'll be more careful next time."

"Kasumi was wondering what would happen if you threw up in your suit."

"Oh, well there's tubing and elimination systems-"

Joker held up his hand, "I'm going to have to stop you there."

Miranda got up and left for her quarters. Joker turned to Tali and quieted his voice, "You were on Horizon. What happened with Kaidan down there?"

"Oh, you heard about that?"

"Yes, Thane told me."

"It was pretty bad. She was trying to tell him she wasn't interested in him, then he got nasty."

"He asked her about Garrus, right?"

Tali nodded, "She told him Garrus was who she really wanted to be with, but he didn't know it yet." Tali put a forkful of food through her mouth port. Chewing it, she said, "Then Thane had to pull a gun on him to get him to shut up."

"He didn't tell me that."

"Oh yea, Kaidan said something like Garrus probably didn't want to be with her because she was a Cerberus Frankenstein. She was so upset she couldn't speak, and Thane ran up and put his pistol in his ribs and told him the conversation was over. He finally left, but still told her she betrayed the Alliance and she was a traitor."

"Goddamn. That fucking prick." Joker slammed his fist on the table.

"Yea. We left the planet after that. I never did find out what a Frankenstein was. I didn't want to ask her. What is it?"

Joker rubbed his hand over his beard, "It's an old Earth novel. A scientist took parts from different dead bodies and sewed them together to make a man. He used lightening to bring it to life, but it was a monster, an abomination."

Tali dropped her fork, "Keelah, I can't believe he would insult her like that. I'm glad he pulled his gun on him now."

"Humph, not any worse than calling her a Turian whore." Joker stabbed at his food.

"What? He called her that too?"

"No," he looked squarely at Tali, "Garrus called her that yesterday when he pointed out the marks on her skin."

Tali shook her head, "I don't, what's happening around here? I don't get it. They're supposed to be her best friends, and when she is miraculously brought back to us, they do everything they can to hurt her."

"I think it's because they are in love with her," Joker admitted.

Tali brought her head up, "Now I really don't get it."

"It's complicated. I don't even get it entirely, but I'm going to talk to him about it."

"No, don't," Tali started.

Joker seethed, "Why is everyone telling me that? She's my friend, like a sister, and I'm not going to sit by and let this crap happen."

"Let me talk to him. Please."

"Okay. Fine." He said reluctantly.


	13. Chapter 13

Later that night Shepard and the ground crew were back on the Normandy. Shepard continued to stay mostly in her quarters. She'd had a debrief with Miranda, which was short, considering Jack was there, hiding her tears in Miranda's shower. Shepard considered asking a crew member up to her quarters to keep her company. She contacted Tali to come up and watch a vid, which she did. They ate snacks and talked about everything light.

"So, have you heard from Kal Reeger?" Shepard asked her.

"Maybe I have," Tali said coyly.

"Are you blushing under that mask Tali?"

"I'll never admit that."

They talked girl talk about Kal's messages to her and his many fine qualities late into the evening.

Down in the cockpit, Joker was surprised when Garrus came up to see him.

"What do you want, Vakarian?" he turned back to his console.

Unfazed, Garrus asked him about their next destination.

"The Commander hasn't decided yet. Why?" he refused to look at him.

"Just asking." Garrus brought up his omni-tool and sent Shepard a message.

Joker turned to say something, but he'd left. He shook his head and went back to his maintenance check.

On his way back to the mess hall, Garrus got a message back from Shepard.

 _"_ _I told Joker to set a course to the Citadel. We'll find Sidonis and take care of it Garrus. I'll keep you posted."_

Garrus clicked his omni-tool off. "EDI, where is Shepard now?"

 _"_ _Commander Shepard is in her quarters."_

He started for the elevator, "EDI, is she alone?"

 _"_ _No, Tali Zorah vas Normandy is with her."_

"Okay, thanks EDI." He turned and went back to the mess hall, getting a meal and eating alone at one of the tables.

The next morning, Shepard messaged Garrus again.

 _"_ _Who do you want to go on the mission to find Fade?"_

Touched by her generosity, he messaged back, "Tali, if she's available."

A minute later she messaged a confirmation and for him to meet them at the Normandy exit in 1 hour. Garrus worked on the console for a while longer, frustrated with the crack in it he'd made. He finally came to a stopping point and turned it off. He faced the crate with the new armor Shepard had bought him. He took the pieces out and started putting it on. It was really good quality. He took the faded picture and put it in the inner fold of the chestplate, like he had with the other armor. He felt guilty for how he'd treated her that day, and messaged her again,

 _"_ _Shepard, do you think I could meet you at the exit door early? I need to discuss something with you."_

She messaged back, " _Sure, I'll meet you there 10 minutes early."_

Somewhat relieved, he put the rest of his new armor on and reviewed his contact information before heading down.

Shepard readied herself for whatever Garrus was planning to say. She walked purposefully up to him. Her anger had faded, but her disappointment was still palpable. She was surprised he was wearing the new armor she'd bought. She was really expecting that he would be wearing his old armor. "Looks good on you, does it fit?"

"Yes, like a glove. I suppose you know me well." He held his arms out and showed her.

She shrugged, "I looked inside your old armor to get the size. That's how I found – never mind. Anyway, you said you wanted to discuss something?" she folded her arms in front of her and leaned against the opposite wall.

"Yes. I want to apologize for what I said to you. I was way out of line, I'm sorry I hurt you."

She nodded, "Okay. I accept your apology."

"It's none of my business, I had no right to say anything." He was contrite.

She frowned. She appreciated his apology, but wanted more. She wanted it to be his business, wanted him to want to be involved in her personal life. She uncrossed her arms and walked towards him.

"I'm sure it was a shock for you, Garrus. I'm sorry."

"I'll be more professional from now on, you can count on me. And again, thanks for thinking of me and getting me this fantastic armor. I know it cost you a lot, and I was rude to you when you gave it to me. Please forgive me."

 _Looks like all we'll have is a working relationship,_ she thought, swallowing hard. She put on a tight smile, "Forgiven, Garrus." She turned to hide her disappointment. "Um, any more information on the mission you can give me?"

Relieved, he told her what he'd found out about Fade, and a contact who could lead them to him. Tali walked up, "Ready when you are, Shepard. Wow, nice armor Garrus!"

They made their way through the Citadel, hunting down Fade, actually Harkin. Shooting through geth, blue suns, they chased him down, finally flanking him. Garrus picked him up like a sack of ramen and threw him against the wall. Harkin gave them attitude, and Garrus was ruthless, kneeing him in the groin. Harkin refused to tell them where Sidonis was, and Garrus threw him on the ground, grinding his boot against his neck, threatening to break it.

"Shepard," Tali gave her a look of concern.

"Get off me!" Harkin yelled out.

Shepard put a hand on Garrus' shoulder, pulling him off.

Harkin rubbed his neck, "Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?"

"No, but Sidonis…opened my eyes. Now arrange a meeting." He ordered.

Garrus eyed his pistol as Harkin arranged the meeting with Sidonis under the ruse his identity was compromised.

Harkin told him to meet Sidonis at the Orbital lounge. "We done? I'll be going now."

Garrus grabbed him roughly by the collar. "I don't think so, you're a criminal now."

Shepard watched as Harkin taunted him, "So you're going to kill me now Garrus? That's not your style." He grinned as he watched Garrus slowly let go of him.

"No, but I can slow you down a little." he brought his gun up and Tali gasped as he shot him in the knee.

"Bastard!" Harkin was shocked, writhing on the ground as blood squirted out of him.

"You're lucky, I wouldn't have shot you in the leg," Shepard told him.

They turned to walk away and Garrus looked at her appreciatively. Over his shoulder he said, "Sidonis better be there or I'm coming back to finish the job."

Tali shook her head, "I don't see why shooting him was necessary."

"If he hadn't, he would have warned Sidonis for sure. He got off easy." Shepard replied.

"And that's what he gets for calling you a princess." Garrus turned and caught Shepard's quick smile. She was surprised he remembered that.

On the cab to the Orbital lounge, Garrus regretted letting Harkin go. "Don't waste your time on him," Shepard advised.

"Yea. You're right. Thanks for helping me out with this Shepard." He looked at her. He had expected her to try to talk him out of his revenge.

"I'd do the same if I were you," she said, setting her jaw. She wasn't going to judge him, he needed to do this, to have closure.

They worked out a plan, Garrus would set up a sniping angle up top and Shepard would talk to Sidonis and help him set up the shot. Tali stayed in the cab.

Looking through his sights, Garrus guided Shepard to where he was. "Keep him talking so I can set up the shot."

She waived Sidonis over. "Let's get this over with," Sidonis said, looking around nervously.

She looked at him for the first time, the source of so much pain and misery for Garrus. She wanted to choke him with her bare hands.

 _"_ _You're in my shot, move to the side,"_ Garrus said over the comm.

"This won't take long at all," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"You one of Harkin's guys? I don't remember seeing you before."

 _"_ _That's it, just keep him talking a few more seconds."_ Garrus watched him through the scope, steadying his aim at his head.

"I was told Harkin was one of the best. This better not happen again," Sidonis said angrily.

"Oh, it won't. Don't worry," she seethed, and stepped to the side.

"What? Oh shit," Sidonis turned and started walking away.

A clear shot now, Garrus took it and Sidonis fell to the ground.

"Betrayal repaid, Sidonis." Garrus said under his breath as he put his sniper rifle away.

People around looked in shock at his limp body on the floor, as Shepard backed away. Without a weapon in her hand, no one gave her a second look. She walked calmly back to the cab and Garrus joined them.

He wasn't sure what her reaction would be. "That was easy enough," he said.

"Clean and simple, good work."

"Thanks for helping me, Shepard." He thought back to how they had taken down Dr. Saleon on the SR1. She'd always been there for him. He felt the anger and hold that revenge had on him slip away. It was a strange feeling, he'd held onto it for so long. They were silent on the cab ride back to the Normandy dock. Tali wrestled with what they'd done, but she knew it wasn't her place to contradict Shepard. Shepard knew Garrus better than anyone, and it was her decision.

As they entered the ship again, Garrus turned to Shepard, "Thanks again. I appreciate it."

"Sure, Garrus," she said flatly and walked towards Miranda's quarters for a mission debrief.

Garrus looked over at Tali, "I can tell you don't agree with what I did."

"I can't comment on it, Garrus. I don't like it, but I don't pretend to know what you've been through and why you've made the decisions you have. I support you, even if I don't agree with you." Tali walked past him and to the elevator.

Garrus took a few steps and then thought about what she'd just said. He realized he hadn't given Shepard the same consideration. He hung his head as he walked on. Now that his revenge was satisfied, he felt like his mind was clearing, he was seeing for the first time in a long time. He went back to his quarters and changed, thinking over what he wanted to do. He knew he'd already apologized to Shepard, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to make sure he fully explained himself so they could be friends again.

A few hours later Garrus had showered and recalibrated the guns to his satisfaction, and he left his quarters for mess hall. As he walked down, he saw Shepard standing up talking to Kasumi and Zaheed at a table. He went over to her.

"Tomorrow, for sure. We'll be in that area, and we can try to track him down. Tonight we'll be taking shore leave on the Citadel, but we'll be leaving in the morning." She brought up her omni-tool, "I'll tell – oh wait, he's there, I'll tell Joker now to set a course in the morning for Zorya. If there's someone in particular you feel you want to go with us, let me know."

"No, I'll leave that to your discretion, Commander."

"Okay," Shepard walked to the next table and relayed the message to Joker. She looked up and saw Garrus standing by.

"Oh, hi. What's up?"

"I was hoping we could talk, do you have some time?"

"Um, not really," she was emotionally drained from the last few days and needed a break before she delved into anything with Garrus. She put her hand up to her forehead, "I'll be going out tonight for shore leave. Maybe we could meet then?"

"Yea, sure. You let me know."

She looked down at the floor, her hands on her hips, "Okay, we'll talk then. I've got reports to finish up, and the doctor needs to re-check my implants."

Garrus nodded and as Shepard walked towards the elevator, he went to the kitchen to get a meal. Joker walked up to him, "Hey Garrus, I need to talk to you."

"Hm? What about?" he held the cabinet open and got a drink as well.

"Not here. In private."

Garrus smirked at him, "Sounds serious."

"It is." Joker folded his arms in front of him.

"Okay, okay, let's go to my quarters." He took his food and walked to the forward battery, Joker walking behind him.

Garrus opened the door and turned to wait for Joker, who was walking as quickly as he could with his limp. The door was barely closed behind him when he asked him, "Did Tali talk to you?"

Garrus shook his head, "About what?"

"About Shepard."

"No, why?"

 _Dammit,_ Joker thought, _I knew she wouldn't do it._

"Look, I don't know what your deal is, but you've been doing a great job of emotionally stripping Shepard to the bone. Whether you see it or not, we see it, and she's our friend, our family. She's got a fucking hard job to do, and she doesn't need you making it any harder."

"Wait a minute-"

Joker lost his temper, "No goddamit, you shut up and listen for once, you've been cruel to her and she doesn't deserve it. You've been so busy wrapped up in your own issues you never once tried to see what was going on with her. Maybe you don't care anymore, maybe you never did, but you're going to show her some goddamn respect or you'll have me and the crew to answer to. You got me!" he pointed his finger at him, his teeth gritted.

Garrus put the meal box and drink down, "Joker, what's gotten into you?"

Joker shook his head, "You just don't get it, do you?" he huffed, "She's in love with you, you dumbass. Kaidan was down on Horizon and she told him what a mistake it had been that one night they were together. Kaidan already suspected, and she told him you were the one she was interested in. And look how you treat her!"

"Kaidan was on Horizon?" Garrus was incredulous, "She never said anything about it."

"Well, how the fuck would you know? You weren't really giving her an opportunity to talk to you, were you? Whether you want to be with her or not, at least have the decency to be kind to her and not intentionally crush her feelings."

"I'm not doing that," Garrus protested.

Joker stumbled as he paced. "By calling her a whore?"

Garrus flashed his eyes at him, "I apologized for that today."

"Oh, big damn deal. Is that all you said, that you were sorry?" Joker let out a huff, "I can tell by your expression I'm right. You know what? When she was brought back by Cerberus she spent weeks looking for you. It was the first thing she did when she got back on the Normandy, the first thing! She had the Illusive man, Miranda and the shadow broker looking for you. When they all came up empty she thought you were dead. She had missed out on being with you, and was so upset about it she started having one night stands with Turians to help her cope with it. She was numb, the only time she felt something she said was when she was in battle or those guys were marking her up. The pain was the only thing she felt. The only thing that made her feel alive. From the moment she found you on Omega, that stopped." He pointed at Garrus' chest, "She spent two solid days in medbay when you came back, and only left when Dr. Chakwas forced her. And this is how you repay her?" he stepped back and sat down on the crate.

"I was just arranging with her to talk to her," Garrus started, looking down at his hands.

"To say what? To say what Garrus? Better yet, to ask her what? You don't ever ask her a thing, do you? I saw how tense she was when you talked to her, she put you off, didn't she? She's afraid of what you'll say next. For pete's sake, if you don't want to be with her, just let her know, because she's torturing herself everyday you're on the ship ignoring her, treating her like she's just 'the Commander'."

"What makes you such an expert on all this?" Garrus demanded.

"Because I care, and she talks to me. Other crew members talk to me, and more importantly I listen. You should try it sometime. Get your head out of your ass and see how what you say and what you do affects her. Or are you that much of a cold-blooded son of a bitch?"

Garrus was stunned. He tried to process what Joker was telling him. He wanted to defend himself, but couldn't. Joker shook his head and turned to leave. At the door he stopped.

"Oh, and one more thing, she told me once that when she was being spaced, her only thoughts were of you. How much she couldn't stand being separated from you and how her death would hurt you. What she sees in you, I'll never know. You're sure not the same guy you used to be." He stormed out.

Garrus sat on the crate, his mind whirled, thinking over everything Joker had said. He tried in vain to push away the feelings he'd been so successful in keeping down for over 2 years. He stood up and paced a few times before he collapsed on the floor. All the emotions flooded over him and he couldn't stop them anymore as he wailed like the day he had when he saw the news report of the Normandy crash. Joker's words swirled around his brain, condemning him. He stayed like that, for how long he didn't know. He was bereft, thinking about how she had tried to reach out to him and he had pushed her away. He'd been so afraid to feel the pain again, of rejection, of her death, he wouldn't allow himself to live in this new reality. When she'd given him the new armor, he'd felt his resolve crack, and he'd retaliated against her, instead of talking to her, being there for her. He slammed his fists on the console, cracking it further. Joker had said she was in love with him. She was in love with him? He couldn't believe it, but he realized the signs were there. Thinking back, he'd felt it, those last weeks on the SR1. Dammit, he'd ruined it, for good probably. All for his own selfish reasons. She was falling apart, Joker said, and it was his fault, and for what? Because she'd loved him. He realized he blamed her for being gone, for causing him pain from her death. He wanted to her to suffer as well. "I guess I did a good job of that," he said ruefully. Even after he'd treated her like dirt and broken her heart, she'd immediately gone out to help him with Sidonis. Supported his decision to kill him, didn't try to talk him out of it or judge him.

"Spirits, in a million years I'll never be able to apologize enough, make it up to her enough." As his walls crumbled down, he felt the intense love that had started on the SR1, his physical attraction to her, his dismay when she slept with Kaidan, and how they started getting close again after the battle with Saren. When she died, he died as well. She was back, but until today, he'd never felt like he was back. He thought about Joker's tirade against him. He let out a chuckle, he had a lot of guts to come in and let him have it like that, to threaten him. He frowned, it also spoke to how badly he must have been treating her for Joker to react to that extreme.

Garrus rubbed his hands over his face. He wanted to talk to her now, to try to work things out, but Joker was right, she'd been stressed about it. He didn't want to pressure her, it was not about what he needed. He brought up his omni-tool, _"Looking forward to seeing you tonight, Jane. Let me know when and where you want to meet."_


	14. Chapter 14

Up in her quarters, Shepard was taking a long shower. She was not looking forward to going out on shore leave. Miranda had threatened her with forced time off again if she didn't go. She'd planned on going to the combat sims again, "This time only to fight," she thought. Meeting with Garrus was not something she wanted to do. She was glad he'd backed off, apologized, and things would be better now, she hoped, now that he could put the issue with Sidonis away. It was still going to be hard to be around him. He'd made it clear he would be professional. That was something, but would never be what she wanted. "What does he want to talk about?" she wondered out loud as she shampooed her hair. "Maybe he wants to rehash the situation with Sidonis. Ugh, I don't know." She forced herself to stop speculating. She toweled off and put some product in her hair, scrunching the curls, leaving it down. She went out in her quarters and decided to wear something different. "Not always a marine," she said to herself, remembering again Kasumi's words. She put on some cargo pants and a T-shirt. She went back to the bathroom and put some makeup on. As her hair dried, she fluffed it out a bit. She smiled at her reflection, "Looking like my old self a bit anyway," she said.

Her computer was blinking, so she checked her messages. Reading the message from Garrus, she was intrigued. "Hm, calling me Jane again? He must really feel bad for calling me a Turian whore." She messaged him back _, "I can meet you in an hour. I'll send you the coordinates to a local restaurant."_

She barely turned around when her computer pinged back. She checked it and Garrus had replied, _"Okay, see you soon."_

She refused to get her hopes up. Too much disappointment and hurt had taught her otherwise. "At least he's being friendly. That's enough of an improvement." She went down to medbay so Dr. Chakwas could check her implants. It took about 20 minutes for her to re-calibrate them.

"Good as new, Shepard. Are you going out on shore leave?"

She hopped off the medical bed, "Yup. Miranda didn't give me a choice."

"Well, if you happen across some Serrice ice brandy, I'm low."

Shepard grinned, "Consider it done."

She went by Miranda's quarters to let her know about tomorrow's mission to help Zaheed. "Enter," Miranda called out.

Miranda was wearing casual clothes, and checking her computer, frowning. "Oh, Commander, are you on your way out?"

"Yes, I'm sending you the information on the planet we're heading to tomorrow. We're going to help Zaheed track someone down."

"That was a part of our deal with him joining the Normandy crew. I'm aware." She kept typing.

"Is everything okay?"

"I think so, I don't know. It's a family matter."

Jack peered out of the bedroom, "Hey, no more business tonight!"

Miranda shut down her computer, "Okay, I promise."

Jack pointed at Shepard, "That goes for you too."

Shepard held up her hands in protest, "I promise."

Jack walked up to Miranda and put her arm around her shoulder, "You ready to go?"

"Yea," she said, "Is that what you're wearing?"

Jack snorted, "Yes, why? Is that what you're wearing?"

"What's wrong with this? These are your pants."

"I'm going, I'll touch base with you tomorrow, Miranda." Shepard laughed and turned for the door.

"Okay."

"Not too early, we're going to be out late tonight," Jack called out to her.

"No problem," Shepard said and walked out. She checked with EDI, Garrus was already off the Normandy.

She walked around the Citadel, and decided to go the restaurant a bit early. She felt she could use a drink before whatever it was Garrus wanted to talk to her about. _I bet he wants off the Normandy now that we've completed his mission with Sidonis._ She thought. Well, if that's what he wanted, maybe it was for the best. Even though he'd made peace with her, somewhat, it was obvious he didn't really want to be there. She made her way up to the bar and ordered a Turian whisky. She glanced at her omni-tool, Garrus was scheduled to be there in 20 minutes. She took several gulps and heard a familiar statement, "You're going to get sick drinking that."

She looked up and saw a Turian leaning against the bar, "You'd better stop now." He warned.

She shook her head and once again explained she had no dextro allergies. "It's fine, I drink it all the time, dextro food as well."

She saw him size her up, then get a little closer, he introduced himself. She smiled to herself, _If this had been a different time, this would totally be my night tonight._

"Nice to meet you, but I'm waiting for a friend." She shook his hand.

He sat next to her, "Don't mind if I wait with you, do you?"

She shrugged, "Fine, if you want to."

She ordered another whisky and drank it, scanning the doorway for Garrus. She made small talk with the friendly Turian, who obviously was interested in more, but was respectful. She glanced at her omni-tool and frowned, Garrus was late. Was he standing her up? She started to send him a message then decided not to and turned her omni-tool off. She tapped her glass with her fingers nervously.

"Your friend late?" he asked.

She sighed, "Yea." She didn't know if she was upset or relieved. She was dreading what he might have to say to her.

"Maybe you need a new friend." He smiled at her.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head no, and suddenly Garrus' voice was at her side, "Jane, sorry I'm late. I went to the wrong restaurant first." He eyed the Turian next to her, "Am I, interrupting anything?"

"Actually-" the Turian started and stood up.

Shepard got up, "Actually, no. Come on, let's go get a table." She motioned to Garrus.

As they sat down, she felt the need to explain, "He was just talking to me. I told him I was waiting for you. I don't know why he was being so pushy."

"You're beautiful," Garrus started, eliciting an involuntary smile from Shepard, "and I'm not being critical, but just stating a fact, it's because you can see the bite scars and gouge marks on your arm. Your shirt doesn't cover them. Without having a bonding mark on your neck, that would be a huge turn-on to Turians. You were there alone, so he made a move. He's probably assuming now that we're together," he looked up at the bar to see him glaring in their direction.

"Oh," Shepard blushed furiously, "I didn't know. I think I should have Dr. Chakwas laser these off, then. I don't want to send the wrong message." She finished off her drink.

"That's completely up to you, Jane." The waiter came up and they placed their order. Shepard looked at her empty glass, silent.

"I suppose you're wondering why I wanted to meet with you," Garrus started.

She sighed, "Yes. I want you to know, I support you Garrus."

"I know," he said softly.

"If you want off the Normandy I'll understand."

"Wait – what?"

She looked up at him, "That is what you want to talk to me about, isn't it?"

"No, what gave you that idea?"

"I just, I don't know." She looked helplessly around the restaurant.

The waiter came back and gave them their drinks.

Taking a sip, Garrus put it down, "Do you want me off the Normandy, Jane?"

"No, yes, I – you know, whatever you want Garrus, I'm just, frankly I'm just tired." She said wearily and looked down to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes.

He felt guilty for pushing her to that emotional point. He grabbed her hand across the table, "I don't want off the Normandy. I understand how it looks like I do, but I don't."

She nodded and attempted to pull her hand away, but he held on tight.

"I need to tell you, I'm sorry. I've been rude and cold to you. I need to tell you about what's really going on. I don't want to keep you away anymore." He took a deep breath, "I love you."

She nodded and said, "I care about you too, Garrus."

"No, I don't think you understand, I don't mean as a friend, well, yes, our friendship is a big part, but I'm in love with you, I want to have a relationship with you, you know, be your boyfriend." He looked at her intently.

She scrunched up her face, "What?"

He still held on to her hand, "I know I haven't been acting like it, I've fucked things up so bad, but I love you Jane. I have since we were on the SR1."

"That's not funny." She pulled back her hand angrily. "Are you trying to hurt me? Is this what you brought me here for?"

Garrus felt sick to his stomach. _This is not going well at all._ "It's not a joke, I'm telling you the truth, for the first time in a long time. Please hear me out, I'm not expecting anything, but I'm hoping you might give me another chance."

She shook her head, "I don't believe you. Maybe you used to feel something like that for me, but ever since I found you on Omega, you've given me a hard time, treated me like I've got the plague, like I disgust you. You barely talk to me, you keep it all business. The friendship we used to have is gone, and that's been your choice, not mine!" she jabbed her finger on the table repeatedly as she spoke.

Garrus hung his head and took a deep breath, "Jane, I'm so, so sorry. You're right in everything you're saying, I have been treating you like that, and I'm sorry. I know I've ruined our friendship. I –" he started to choke up and stopped.

She crossed her arms and glared at him.

He started again, "I've never felt the same since you died. My life ended then too. I've spent two years trying to make peace with that by blocking you out."

"I don't get it," she said, angrily shaking her head, "I understand what you're saying, but I've tried to put myself in your position, and I can only think that if I found out you were alive after all that time, I'd be thrilled. Just like I was thrilled when I found you on Omega. I thought you were dead too, you know. I'm sorry, I just can't accept what you're saying." She looked down.

"Can you at least hear me out?" Garrus pleaded.

She refused to look up but shrugged her shoulders.

He held his hands together on the table. He knew this was probably his only chance to convince her he was sincere. He took a deep breath and thought back, "As I got to know you on the SR1, we became close friends, then I felt more. I didn't know what to do, I've never had feelings for a human before, plus you were my Commander. I didn't think it was appropriate to act on my feelings."

Shepard asked, "Is that what happened that time we were sparring?"

He looked up, "Yes, you saw that back then?"

"Not at the time, but later I wondered about it." She eyed him critically, was he serious? Was he actually confessing to her?

He nodded, "I was acting on instinct that day. I cared about you so much, I struggled with my attraction to you. That time in your quarters when I was giving you a massage, I wanted to tell you, but," he shook his head, "I chickened out. I was afraid you would reject me. You were still seeing Kaidan off and on then, as well."

"You know, I only slept with him that one night before Ilos. I went down to see you first, remember? I was trying to see how you felt about me, trying to get you to come up to my quarters. You were working on the Mako. You said no. I took that as proof that you weren't interested in me, that you didn't return my feelings."

Garrus frowned, thinking back. "You mean you had feelings for me then?"

Shepard realized she'd just confessed to him, "Um, yes. I did. I was attracted to you." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I realized much later that that night I was too subtle in the way I tried to tell you. I was afraid too, that I was overstepping and you would find humans gross, or whatever. Anyway, I was up in my cabin for a few hours, hoping you would show up and Kaidan stopped by. He hugged me, I felt rejected by you. I thought I was going to die the next day. I felt comforted." She put her hands up to her temples, "But it was a huge mistake and blew up in my face. I figured he would understand it was just a one-time thing, but I was totally wrong. I remembered why I'd broken up with him in the first place. I told him I didn't want to be with him, basically, then I was trying to get him off the ship because he was being such a jerk about it. Remember? You were trying to help me figure out how to get him off the Normandy."

"Yea, I do remember us talking about it. I can't believe that we both felt that way on the SR1." Garrus reprimanded himself for being a coward.

"Well, like you keep telling me, that was then and this is now." Her lips were tight together.

He was silent.

"So, you wanted me to hear you out, what can be said now? What's changed that suddenly you're confessing your long-standing love to me after calling me a Turian whore?"

He flinched. He could taste regret in his mouth. "Firstly, I can't apologize enough for ever saying that to you. It was unconscionable and I'm so sorry. To be honest, I suppose a few things have changed. Now that I'm finished with Sidonis, some of my rage is gone and my mind is clearer. I realized that I've not been acting in a way that is true to who I really am, and what you deserve. I've also had a crew member come to me and call me out on my horrible behavior to you."

She raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

"Does it matter?" he looked at her steadily, "The point is, he was right. I took my grief, my pain and took it out on you. I was so afraid of opening up the deep abys I fell into when you died that I couldn't accept you were really here, really alive." He leaned back and rubbed a hand over his face. "I have nothing but regrets."

She saw the tears in his eyes and started to soften.

He looked at her, "When I saw the bite marks on you, I was consumed with jealousy, and it turned to anger. Please forgive me."

She let out a long breath, "I forgive you, Garrus."

He saw a ray of hope. "I should have been brave enough to tell you how I felt about you on the SR1. I was stupid, like most of us, I thought I had time."

She wiped a tear away quickly. She didn't want to cry, but the tears were filling up her eyes and she couldn't stop them. "You know," she said quietly, "It was hard enough when Kaidan called me a traitor and turned on me, but I never thought you would be so cold and cruel."

"Spirits, I'll never be able to apologize enough to you. I put my own thoughts and fears ahead of you, and there's no excuse."

She picked at her napkin, "Kaidan said you didn't want to be with me because I'm a Cerberus Frankenstein."

"He said what!"

She looked up at him, "It's an old Earth story about a monster-"

He held up his hand, "Yes, I'm familiar with it, surprisingly," he vigorously shook his head back and forth, "He's wrong, dead wrong. He was trying to hurt you, and I'm sorry that he ever was able to put that doubt in your mind because of how I was acting." He reached across the table for her hand. She didn't move it towards him, but didn't pull it away, either. "You're beautiful. All of you. You being here is a miracle. We all have scars and implants, it's the story of our lives, our strength to survive written on us."

She lightly squeezed his hand back. "It's a bit hard to take in, Garrus. I was fully prepared tonight for you to tell me you're leaving the Normandy, now that your mission with Sidonis is over."

"I know. That's not ever what I was thinking. You know, I dreamt of you every night, on the SR1. When you died, that turned to nightmares, where you were calling out for me, and I couldn't reach you."

"It must have been hard for you." She put her hand over her eyes.

"Yes, and I don't want to ever, ever let you go again. Thank you for hearing me out," He rubbed his hand over hers, "I meant what I said, that I have no expectations. I love you passionately, completely, and am begging your forgiveness. I'm willing to accept whatever you are gracious enough to give me. If it's your friendship, I'll be honored. If it's more, I'll be the happiest, luckiest Turian ever and I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy." He looked down at her hand in his.


	15. Chapter 15

The waiter came up to the table, "Is the food alright?" he looked at their two untouched plates. Garrus nodded and the waiter saw Shepard's teary face, "Sorry to bother you," and he walked away.

She looked at Garrus, "I only slept with those other Turians because I thought you were dead, and I was so lonely, I missed you so much. I didn't have a relationship with any of them."

"I understand. You didn't do anything wrong, and I was wrong to insinuate that. I was jealous."

"All I wanted was for us to be together. All I really want now is to be with you." She said, losing her voice on the last word.

He continued to hold her hand, afraid to ask her exactly what she meant. Was she considering giving him a chance?

She cleared her throat and looked at him, "I missed you Garrus. I've been devastated the last months. I -I want to move on, move forward," she felt the fear that he would hurt her again snake up and stop her, then she pushed past it. _I'm not going to live like a coward._

She reached out her other hand and grabbed his tightly, "I love you Garrus. I want to be with you, us to be together."

He was incredulous, "You mean it? You're willing to forgive me, give me a second chance?"

She nodded her head, "Yes, we belong together. There's no one else out there for either one of us, and there's no sense in being apart. We've wasted enough, been cheated out of too much time already."

He pulled her hand up kissed it, overcome with relief. The depth of this woman's character was breathtaking. "I'm so, I can't express, I can't believe it."

She smiled, "Garrus."

Suddenly the waiter was back, "Would you folks like me to pack your meals up to go, or something?"

Shepard laughed, "Yes, I think that would be a good idea."

Garrus nodded. The waiter took their plates and walked away. They looked across the table at each other, smiling.

"I would love to go back in time and go up to your quarters that night you asked me to," Garrus lamented.

"And I'd love to go back in time to that night and come on to you a little harder, so you knew what I meant." She said.

"So that night you would have –"

"Oh, definitely."

"Damn, I'm an idiot," Garrus said.

She laughed. "Look, we both have regrets, things we're sorry for. We realize now how precious our time together is, so let's look forward, not back."

"You're right. I don't deserve you, you know."

She shook her head, "That's not true. You're being hard on yourself. No more of that, okay?"

He nodded.

The waiter came back with a bag for them. Garrus paid with his credit chit. Standing up, Shepard faced Garrus who tentatively reached out and gave her a hug. She readily returned it, leaning on his chest, holding him tightly. She pulled back and gave him a beaming smile. They walked with his arm around her shoulders back to the Normandy, talking over more details of their attraction to each other as they went. Back on the ship, they walked past the CIC and to the elevator. "Let's go up to my quarters," she said and pushed the button. As the door opened to her floor, she realized Garrus hadn't been up here yet. "It's a lot nicer than the SR1," she said as she put in the code.

They went inside and put their meals on the coffee table. She turned and faced Garrus who reached out for her. She pulled herself in for a long hug. He held her face on his shoulder and ran his fingers down her hair. "Oh Jane, I feel like I'm finally home."

She held him tight and nodded, "I feel the same." It was intoxicating, finally being able to share with him how she felt. She slowly let go and went to her cabinet as Garrus sat down on the chair. She pulled two glasses and some Turian ale out, "I know you said you don't drink it anymore, but it's either this or water." She held it up.

Garrus motioned for her to bring it down. She poured it out and they ate and drank, exchanging smiles between bites. "This food is really good," Garrus said.

"That's why I chose that place. They serve great dextro food." She popped some in her mouth and grinned. He laughed. He remembered how much he used to love seeing her eat, how she enjoyed her food. It was good seeing her be herself again. He finished up and she took his box and hers and threw it out. She sat back down and they continued to sip on the ale.

"So, does this mean I can call you my boyfriend now?"

He beamed, "I would love it."

She grinned, "So would I." She got up and walked over to him in the chair, kneeling down on the floor in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I love you Garrus." She leaned in and hugged him. He held her tightly. He felt her hands rub on his back and her fingers start to work into the groves in his carapace. He breathed in the scent of her freshly shampooed hair, losing himself in the moment. He let out a low growl as she gripped him. He pulled back and looked at her.

"I still can't believe you're here, it's like a dream." She said, looking at him lovingly.

"Oh, you don't know how true that is," he caressed her shoulders. She gave him a sly smile and started working her fingers into his fringe.

"I uh, you need to stop doing that," he said, reaching up for her hand in his fringe.

"You don't like it?" she asked, frowning.

"Yes, I like it very much, that's the problem."

She put her hands down around his neck, "I don't understand."

"I've never been with a human before, I, uh," he chuckled, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"Oh," she nodded.

He held onto her hands, "I don't think I'll be able to stop if you keep going."

She laughed, "Really, I have that much effect on you?"

He got serious, "Yes, very much so. You consume me. I want to feel every inch of you, hold you up next to me and feel your heat," he grabbed her waist and she let out a little gasp.

She dug her nails into his skin, "Yes," and leaned in.

He pulled back, "But wait, seriously, not tonight. I don't know what to do, and I'm not going to screw up. I've done way too much of that already. I need to do some research, prepare. There's a lot I don't understand."

She cocked her head to the side, "Well, I could help you out with that."

He rubbed his hands on her waist, "I know you could, but it's different when you're in a relationship. And your experiences are limited."

She nodded, "True." She sighed and pulled away, "You're right, I can't argue with you, but you can't blame me for wanting you."

"No, I definitely don't. I just don't want this to be an awkward cross-species disaster. You're too important."

"Okay, but I want to do one thing," she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, lightly running her tongue over the opening of his mouth. He responded back to her with his thin lips. She pulled back and smiled, "That's a human kiss."

"Mmm, I like it."

"Good, there's a lot more."

"I'm looking forward to it. You know, you have a very supportive waist." He said appreciatively.

She looked down, "Is that a good thing?"

"Yes, very." He tightened his grip.

"Well then, do some good research tonight. I've got plans for us tomorrow night."

He felt a shiver down his spine. "Indeed." He stood up. "As hard as it is to leave, I'm going to go down to my quarters and burn up the extranet." He helped her stand up.

She held onto his arm and walked him up the stairs to her door, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early." He turned to face her and leant down, pressing his forehead to hers. She felt a rush of pleasure wash through her body.

"What was that?" she asked breathlessly as he pulled away.

"That was a Turian kiss."

She looked up at him, "I've never done that before."

He grinned, "Good, because that's what you do when you bond with someone." He turned and left her quarters.

She put her hand to her forehead, it still tingled. "Can't wait until the mission is over tomorrow," she said. She couldn't keep the wide smile off her face as she thought about the whole evening and what Garrus had told her. "I guess Thane was right," she said. He'd pretty much called it, that he was keeping her away because he couldn't stand the pain from when she was gone. She shivered, thinking about how it felt to finally kiss him, have him caress her. She'd wanted to throw him down on her bed then and fuck him senseless, but knew what it was like to be completely ignorant about a different species. He didn't want to mess things up, to hurt her anymore. It was a relief, to finally be past their problems and have a resolution to the pain she'd had in her heart for months. She put their glasses in the sanitizer and happily went to bed.

Her omni-tool alarmed in the morning, and she turned it off, plopping back on her bed. She smiled, remembering how things had gone with Garrus last night. "Crap, I've got to go to Zoyra, too." She sighed and got up and took a quick shower, wanting to meet Garrus for breakfast before she went on the mission. She messaged him, and he quickly messaged back and they arranged to meet in the mess hall.

She bounded down the elevator and looked around for him. He was standing in the kitchen, trying to get past the cook to the cabinet. She walked up behind him. Suddenly she felt a little uneasy, what if he acted differently today? Got cold feet, or didn't want the rest of the crew to know. She hung back a little.

"I'm trying to cook here," the cook said with irritation.

"Oh, is that what you call it?" Garrus said to him.

"Hey buddy," he started.

"Cook me a dextro meal and we'll talk," he looked up and saw Shepard. His face lit up, "Hi! There you are," he walked briskly towards her holding up two meals, "This is all I could find. We really need to stock up on dextro meals. Next time we have shore leave, we'll go out together. I know where the good vendors are." He held out a box to her and she took it. He reached over and gave her a hug.

"Did you sleep well?" he started walking towards an empty table.

She was relieved, "Yes. Best sleep I've had in weeks."

"Good. Can't say I did the same. Had my mind on other things. I went cross-eyed researching on the extranet."

"Oh," she arched her eyebrows and started eating, "And what did you find?"

"Interesting stuff. Some of it a bit extreme for me, you too I'm guessing. I did learn enough to, well, get started. You can help me with the rest, right?" he gave her a suggestive smile.

She stifled a smile, "I'm willing to try."

"We'll figure it out. Who's going on the mission today?"

"Um, with Zaheed, I'm thinking Samara. She hasn't been on a mission yet. I'd like to see what she can do with those biotics."

"Yes," he tapped his fork on the table, "Good idea."

She took a bite and looked over at him. It was nice being able to discuss the missions, strategy with him again.

They finished their breakfast as some of the crew started filing in. "When are you leaving?" Garrus asked.

"I'd like to leave soon, but considering we were on shore leave last night, I think I'll have to wait a few hours. Zaheed isn't even up. It won't take long to get to Zoyra. Maybe half an hour."

"Then, maybe we could go out on the Citadel this morning and get those dextro supplies? Unless there's something else you need to do, I could go myself." Garrus offered.

"Yea, we can go out. People are still straggling in."

They finished their meals and made their way past the CIC. Garrus caught up to her as she walked past Kelly and grabbed her hand. Looking down at her, he asked, "Is this okay?"

She squeezed his hand, "More than okay." They continued to the Normandy docking exit.

"Wait, I've got to check in with Joker before we go." She turned and went into the cockpit.

Joker turned when he saw her, "Hey, Commander. What's up?"

"Garrus and I are going out to get supplies. I won't be gone long. I'm sending a message to the rest of the crew to be back on the ship in the next 2 hours. When everyone's on board we'll make our way to Zoyra."

"Sure thing, Commander." He watched carefully as she joined Garrus, taking his hand and left the Normandy. _Things look better,_ he thought.

They worked their way through the markets on the Citadel, Garrus taking her to better dextro vendors. Shepard felt like new life had been breathed into her. She relished in holding his hand, him putting his arm around her as they walked around the Citadel shops. He seemed equally thrilled, squeezing her side, hardly taking his eyes off her.

"I think we made good time," Garrus said, checking his omni-tool.

"Yea, we should head back, - oh, wait! The Serrice ice brandy! I forgot. Dr. Chakwas asked me to get her some."

Garrus pointed, "There's a shop up those stairs that has it, I believe."

They went to a liquor store and she found the brandy, buying it and taking it with her. Back on the Normandy, Garrus stopped in the hallway of the CIC, "You're taking that to her now?"

She nodded, "I'll probably be in there for a while, too."

"Okay, I'll meet up with you later." He leaned down and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

She smiled, "See you later," and she went towards the elevators.

Garrus sighed deeply watching her walk away. He knew how lucky he was she had so readily forgiven him. He turned and made his way up to the cockpit.


End file.
